I know it's a bit late, but I would like to nominate my husband, Mike Auffhammer, for the Best Husband 2009 Award. Just in case the awards have already been presented, then I will go ahead and nominate him early for the 2010 round. We're onto our third year of marriage and I am excited to see what will turn up this year.
So what has he done this past year to receive a nomination for this award? Well let me just tell you:
November 2008 he tells me that he's been thinking about it and would like to have a baby. Quite a surprise to me, but I was all about it, so sure! March of 2009 we found out I was pregnant and the whole pregnancy Mike was incredible. He made sure I took care of myself, ate enough, took my vitamins and got enough rest. If I wanted to go walking we would. If I wanted something to eat he'd make it. If I needed help with getting the laundry out of the washing machine because my ginormous belly just would NOT allow me to reach the bottom, he'd help. I'm not used to being so pampered, even by myself!!
In May he told me he had been looking into colleges for getting a degree in Information Technology. This is a field he wanted to be in for a while, but a college degree is a long term commitment. In June the online courses began and he has put in such a great effort that he now has six, count them, SIX straight A's. To date he has maintained a perfect 4.0! Don't be jealous.
As we got closer to my due date it was Mike, not me, that made sure we had all the baby "stuff" and that it was all set up properly. Had he left it up to me, everything would probably still be in boxes. STILL. I am also too cheap for my own good. Many things that we got - such as a sleeping wedge for Rachel - I probably would have held off on just because I like to save and hoard up all my money and gift cards. My mother laughingly says that I still have all my crayons from first grade. Mike pointed out that if we don't use them, gift cards expire in 2 years, or sometimes less, and just went ahead and put things in the cart. I have to admit, they have been good buys.
Mike is a great cook. He cooked anything I asked for during my pregnancy. He also cooked some chili, split pea soup and spaghetti ahead of time and stored them in the freezer so that we'd have ready-made meals for once the baby was born and we were exhausted. Even though we didn't cook for two weeks after Rachel was born (thanks to my grandmother and the ladies from church) getting back with the program afterward was rough. Having frozen meals was great! After that, while I was still getting used to routines and all, he would go to work, come home, cook, do his homework, play with the baby, and not complain about it at all. Now I'm trying to do most of the cooking so he can concentrate on homework and the baby when he gets home.
Speaking of post-partum, Mike is taking to fatherhood well. He talks to Rachel, doesn't fuss about changing diapers if I ask for it, takes pictures, holds her, and even gives her a bottle if I need a break. Rachel loves listening to his voice, and gets all excited when he gets home from work. As I've been typing this, she's been talking to him and vice versa the whole time. Oh, and did I mention that his good genes made for a beautiful little daughter?
So for all these reasons and more, I would like to nominate my husband for the Best Husband 2009 (or 2010) Awards.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
All dressed up with nowhere to go
Last night official began my endeavor to change Rachel's sleep habits and patterns to something a slight bit more "reasonable." And by "reasonable" I mean preferably not having waking hours from noon to midnight. Even just a 2 hour shift so we are awake from 10am - 10pm would suffice. I'd love to be able to go to bed at the same time as my husband.
Thank goodness for the internet. All these things that could have been quite a mystery for me, as a new parent, have been blogged about ad nauseum, and articles on childcare / child development abound. Before attempting any changes, I'd read up on the do's and don'ts of sleeping habits and ways to successfully attempt changes to already established routines. Fortunately, per these websites, routines are not so hard to change this early in life. I probably should have attempted this earlier, but I had no motivation. Do I have motivation now? It's hard to say, I guess we will find out.
All the articles I read said you need to establish a routine to create habits in your baby. Sounds practical. That's about what they say for adults too. Our routine is going to consist of the following:
So I lay down in bed (I was tired too!) and nursed her into submission. I mean sleep. The nice thing about nursing while lying down is I can fall asleep too. Next thing I know I'm waking up and it's 1am and she is sleeping all cozy next to me. Well I moved her into the crib and she didn't wake up until 5:30am. Once she is out, the crib is not an issue. Go figure.
Instead of going back to bed after nursing her this morning I decided to see how long it would take me to get ready in the mornings with her added to my routine. So once she nursed I put her back in the crib. She was not completely asleep but for some reason unbeknown to me it's not a bad thing to be in the crib in the morning while still not completely asleep. Well no one said babies were logical. So she lay there and gurgled for a while (not waking Mike up, fortunately) and I started my getting ready routine. Not bad. If I wake up at 5:30 I have time to nurse her, get ready, get her ready, nurse her again, and head out by 7.45am. Faster if I were in a hurry.
This morning since I had no where to go I made breakfast for Mike. Usually at 7.15am I am in bed still sleeping after having only gone to bed at midnight and been up at least once to nurse Rachel. This feels very accomplished. I feel like a real human being today. Like it has to be a good day because I am already showered and had coffee before 10am. I realize over and over in life how much difference a shower makes to one's perception of the day. Now I'm realizing how much a good breakfast and good night's sleep makes. Ah! Showered, dressed, made-up, full tummy, and getting to see my honey off to work. Life is good!
And now here I am... all dressed up and nowhere to go.
Thank goodness for the internet. All these things that could have been quite a mystery for me, as a new parent, have been blogged about ad nauseum, and articles on childcare / child development abound. Before attempting any changes, I'd read up on the do's and don'ts of sleeping habits and ways to successfully attempt changes to already established routines. Fortunately, per these websites, routines are not so hard to change this early in life. I probably should have attempted this earlier, but I had no motivation. Do I have motivation now? It's hard to say, I guess we will find out.
All the articles I read said you need to establish a routine to create habits in your baby. Sounds practical. That's about what they say for adults too. Our routine is going to consist of the following:
- 9.30pm either start a bath or wash face/head and hands.
- Change diaper (if it's still clean I'm debating the changing or not)
- Change into jammies
- Take vitamins
- Read a book
- Nurse up for bed!
- 10pm put her in the crib
So I lay down in bed (I was tired too!) and nursed her into submission. I mean sleep. The nice thing about nursing while lying down is I can fall asleep too. Next thing I know I'm waking up and it's 1am and she is sleeping all cozy next to me. Well I moved her into the crib and she didn't wake up until 5:30am. Once she is out, the crib is not an issue. Go figure.
Instead of going back to bed after nursing her this morning I decided to see how long it would take me to get ready in the mornings with her added to my routine. So once she nursed I put her back in the crib. She was not completely asleep but for some reason unbeknown to me it's not a bad thing to be in the crib in the morning while still not completely asleep. Well no one said babies were logical. So she lay there and gurgled for a while (not waking Mike up, fortunately) and I started my getting ready routine. Not bad. If I wake up at 5:30 I have time to nurse her, get ready, get her ready, nurse her again, and head out by 7.45am. Faster if I were in a hurry.
This morning since I had no where to go I made breakfast for Mike. Usually at 7.15am I am in bed still sleeping after having only gone to bed at midnight and been up at least once to nurse Rachel. This feels very accomplished. I feel like a real human being today. Like it has to be a good day because I am already showered and had coffee before 10am. I realize over and over in life how much difference a shower makes to one's perception of the day. Now I'm realizing how much a good breakfast and good night's sleep makes. Ah! Showered, dressed, made-up, full tummy, and getting to see my honey off to work. Life is good!
And now here I am... all dressed up and nowhere to go.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A Parent's Lament
It is a constantly heard lament by parents no matter what their age, race, income or status. It's one of those things that single people think they understand, but only partially "get," Confide it to another parent and there will be an immediate connection. In fact, I imagine Eve complained to Adam more than once: "They grow up so fast!"
Oh, I thought I understood before. As a single person I babysat over and over for many different children. Watching the children I sat for when they were 2 years old (or even 10 years old) begin high school, graduate high school, move on to college, join the service, and more has had a profound impact on me. Not just that I actually deserve all the years I claim, but that these "children" are individuals of their own and grown now. Amazing! I thought I "got" it. Obviously I did not, because with Rachel I am struck daily with how big she is getting.
Rachel is now too big for some of the Newborn size clothing, which goes up to 9lbs. She is now somewhere in the 10lb range, though I'm not sure exactly how many ounces she has on her right now. The newborn size diapers are not sufficient anymore (so it's lucky we only have another 4 of them left). As soon as this pack is finished we will be moving on to size 1 diapers. I just had to let out the straps in her carseat because it was too tight. And I just took a picture of her with Mike and realized how much larger she looks laying on him than when she had just arrived home.
She is growing in leaps and bounds, and not just size-wise. She focuses in on things - faces, colors, noises, movements. She follows movements with her eyes or sometimes her whole head. Her little fists open and close onto things with super grip - including the thumbs now. She has a routine that she follows, drifting in and out of sleep until around noon, after which she lays on her floor pad and kicks till her little heart's content, after which we play with daddy when he comes home, and then she stays up with mommy until midnight or so. She is constantly doing new things and amazing me with how early she starts doing things that I see on the parenting websites.
Don't get me wrong...I am so excited to see her growing up and learning new things. I want to treasure each stage, but they go so quickly that I'm afraid I'm going to miss something. I am staying home with Rachel for now, and I'm still afraid that if I turn away I will miss something extremely important. I take pictures almost every day and send them to Mike so he won't miss out, but if I could video the entire day (sans the sleeping) I might be tempted to.
Oh man... it's true... they grow up so fast!!
Oh, I thought I understood before. As a single person I babysat over and over for many different children. Watching the children I sat for when they were 2 years old (or even 10 years old) begin high school, graduate high school, move on to college, join the service, and more has had a profound impact on me. Not just that I actually deserve all the years I claim, but that these "children" are individuals of their own and grown now. Amazing! I thought I "got" it. Obviously I did not, because with Rachel I am struck daily with how big she is getting.
Rachel is now too big for some of the Newborn size clothing, which goes up to 9lbs. She is now somewhere in the 10lb range, though I'm not sure exactly how many ounces she has on her right now. The newborn size diapers are not sufficient anymore (so it's lucky we only have another 4 of them left). As soon as this pack is finished we will be moving on to size 1 diapers. I just had to let out the straps in her carseat because it was too tight. And I just took a picture of her with Mike and realized how much larger she looks laying on him than when she had just arrived home.
She is growing in leaps and bounds, and not just size-wise. She focuses in on things - faces, colors, noises, movements. She follows movements with her eyes or sometimes her whole head. Her little fists open and close onto things with super grip - including the thumbs now. She has a routine that she follows, drifting in and out of sleep until around noon, after which she lays on her floor pad and kicks till her little heart's content, after which we play with daddy when he comes home, and then she stays up with mommy until midnight or so. She is constantly doing new things and amazing me with how early she starts doing things that I see on the parenting websites.
Don't get me wrong...I am so excited to see her growing up and learning new things. I want to treasure each stage, but they go so quickly that I'm afraid I'm going to miss something. I am staying home with Rachel for now, and I'm still afraid that if I turn away I will miss something extremely important. I take pictures almost every day and send them to Mike so he won't miss out, but if I could video the entire day (sans the sleeping) I might be tempted to.
Oh man... it's true... they grow up so fast!!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Family, family and more family!
Well the holiday season is mostly over (though I'm still re-living it in my memories) and this time it was full of family, family and more family! I didn't really get around to doing much decorations, and although I pulled out the Christmas cards and purchased stamps, I failed to finalize the crucial part: fill them out and mail them. So I'm sorry that you did not get your Christmas card from me, but I was (and am) wishing you all the best!
2009 was a year of "firsts." It was my first full year in North Carolina, which flew by! My first becoming a mommy, which has been a journey in and of itself. My first Christmas and New Year with a family of my own (married almost two years now!). And this holiday season was my first in a while that I can remember having all my family(s) together to celebrate.
As long as I can remember, "home" is wherever my family lives. Cleveland, Port Huron, DeBary, Cochabamba, Santa Cruz, Arequipa, Birmingham, it didn't matter - if my family was there, then going "home" meant wherever they were residing. When I moved away for college and my family moved to Birmingham, "home" became a little rental home in Irondale, though I only was able to visit on holidays. Sometimes I detested moving around so much, because since I am incredibly bad at correspondence (those of you who know me can confirm) I would inevitably lose track of my friends. At other times I appreciate it because I realize it made me so much closer to my family. Oh sure, we would fight, but I could not wait to get back to them on school breaks.
When I moved to California, I would still travel "home" to Alabama to see my family when I could. Then I got married, and all of a sudden there was a whole new family to visit. Complicate that by the fact that my parents moved to Florida away from my sisters and all of a sudden "family" visits were not so easy to plan any longer. With only two weeks of vacation it is hard to visit three different places! Especially when the cost of gasoline (and thus the cost of airplane tickets) skyrocketed. So we moved to North Carolina.
My new family-in-law lives 4 hours away and it has been nice getting to visit and know them. They have moved around quite a bit also, and I think that helps me related to them. I sometimes have difficulty relating to people who have lived their whole lives in one city or house. Which is not to say that there is anything wrong with that, but it does create a different mentality - one where people are attached to places. Anyhow, we went down to see them the weekend of New Year's, and they were gracious enough to let my entire family - parents, two sisters, niece & nephew - come along also without a moment's hesitation or any indication that it was an imposition at all. I have the best in-laws ever!!
I did take quite a few pictures during the visits (when one has a spiffy new phone, a spiffy new camera, and tons of family one HAS to take pictures!!) but now they do not seem sufficient. It's funny, but I never used to be a photo taker, and this baby has turned me into a fiend with the phone/camera. Yes... a fiend! Or maybe it's having the family around.
Regardless, the summation of this entire post is just to say that I love my entire family - my own, my immediate, and my in-laws. I look forward to many more holiday seasons of togetherness!!
2009 was a year of "firsts." It was my first full year in North Carolina, which flew by! My first becoming a mommy, which has been a journey in and of itself. My first Christmas and New Year with a family of my own (married almost two years now!). And this holiday season was my first in a while that I can remember having all my family(s) together to celebrate.
As long as I can remember, "home" is wherever my family lives. Cleveland, Port Huron, DeBary, Cochabamba, Santa Cruz, Arequipa, Birmingham, it didn't matter - if my family was there, then going "home" meant wherever they were residing. When I moved away for college and my family moved to Birmingham, "home" became a little rental home in Irondale, though I only was able to visit on holidays. Sometimes I detested moving around so much, because since I am incredibly bad at correspondence (those of you who know me can confirm) I would inevitably lose track of my friends. At other times I appreciate it because I realize it made me so much closer to my family. Oh sure, we would fight, but I could not wait to get back to them on school breaks.
When I moved to California, I would still travel "home" to Alabama to see my family when I could. Then I got married, and all of a sudden there was a whole new family to visit. Complicate that by the fact that my parents moved to Florida away from my sisters and all of a sudden "family" visits were not so easy to plan any longer. With only two weeks of vacation it is hard to visit three different places! Especially when the cost of gasoline (and thus the cost of airplane tickets) skyrocketed. So we moved to North Carolina.
My new family-in-law lives 4 hours away and it has been nice getting to visit and know them. They have moved around quite a bit also, and I think that helps me related to them. I sometimes have difficulty relating to people who have lived their whole lives in one city or house. Which is not to say that there is anything wrong with that, but it does create a different mentality - one where people are attached to places. Anyhow, we went down to see them the weekend of New Year's, and they were gracious enough to let my entire family - parents, two sisters, niece & nephew - come along also without a moment's hesitation or any indication that it was an imposition at all. I have the best in-laws ever!!
I did take quite a few pictures during the visits (when one has a spiffy new phone, a spiffy new camera, and tons of family one HAS to take pictures!!) but now they do not seem sufficient. It's funny, but I never used to be a photo taker, and this baby has turned me into a fiend with the phone/camera. Yes... a fiend! Or maybe it's having the family around.
Regardless, the summation of this entire post is just to say that I love my entire family - my own, my immediate, and my in-laws. I look forward to many more holiday seasons of togetherness!!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
One handed feats
There are so many things that I have learned since becoming a mom. One of them is that when forced to it, a person can become at least somewhat ambidextrous, even at the advanced (okay... or not-so-advanced) age of 28. Amazing! This skill comes from having to compensate for holding a baby and the need to get things done stil. Which means one handed feats.
While some things come easily one handed, there are others that do not. Also, while some things come easily one handed with your dominant hand, they are decidedly NOT as easy with the other, though sometimes practice makes said tasks easier. And then again, there are certain tasks that I don't think will EVER come easily with one hand or might not even be possible.
For your edification (yes, you see how benevolent I am?) I have decided to list some of these tasks for you.
Easy one handed tasks:
- Burping a baby
- Fixing and drinking coffee (!!)
- Typing short bursts (hello Facebook!)
- Adoring your baby!!
- Petting and feeding the kitties
- Eating pre-sliced foods
- Putting in and watching a movie
- Dancing around with baby. Salsa, baby!
- Opening up a chocolate bar
- Following other people's well maintained blogs
Medium difficulty or difficult with non-dominant hand:
- Fixing sandwiches
- Cooking a decent meal (chopping veggies? yeah right!)
- Undoing difficult snaps.
- Blogging (doable but takes MUCH longer)
- Eating steak which has NOT been pre-sliced. Or rice with no sauce to hold it together.
Almost impossible / to be avoided:
- Going to the bathroom. (Sorry even if you are screaming I'm not taking you in. To be avoided!)
- Laundry... I still need those front loaders, but folding?
- Taking down a Christmas tree
- Taking out trash
Well... enough of this, I'm going to play with my baby. This is definitely a non-inclusive list and might be added to later if I can tear myself away from Rachel, or if you want to contribute. :)
While some things come easily one handed, there are others that do not. Also, while some things come easily one handed with your dominant hand, they are decidedly NOT as easy with the other, though sometimes practice makes said tasks easier. And then again, there are certain tasks that I don't think will EVER come easily with one hand or might not even be possible.
For your edification (yes, you see how benevolent I am?) I have decided to list some of these tasks for you.
Easy one handed tasks:
- Burping a baby
- Fixing and drinking coffee (!!)
- Typing short bursts (hello Facebook!)
- Adoring your baby!!
- Petting and feeding the kitties
- Eating pre-sliced foods
- Putting in and watching a movie
- Dancing around with baby. Salsa, baby!
- Opening up a chocolate bar
- Following other people's well maintained blogs
Medium difficulty or difficult with non-dominant hand:
- Fixing sandwiches
- Cooking a decent meal (chopping veggies? yeah right!)
- Undoing difficult snaps.
- Blogging (doable but takes MUCH longer)
- Eating steak which has NOT been pre-sliced. Or rice with no sauce to hold it together.
Almost impossible / to be avoided:
- Going to the bathroom. (Sorry even if you are screaming I'm not taking you in. To be avoided!)
- Laundry... I still need those front loaders, but folding?
- Taking down a Christmas tree
- Taking out trash
Well... enough of this, I'm going to play with my baby. This is definitely a non-inclusive list and might be added to later if I can tear myself away from Rachel, or if you want to contribute. :)
Friday, January 8, 2010
Separation Anxiety
Leaving your child alone for the first time with family is hard. Leaving her alone for the first time with a babysitter is ridiculously hard. It's not like I'm the type of person who suffers panic attacks or anything, but I will never laugh (outwardly or inwardly) at someone talking about "separation anxiety" again. It is a rather nerve racking event!
Thus far in my lifelong trek into motherhood I can count the number of times I've been separated from Rachel without using up all the fingers on one hand. Once at the hospital they took her to the nursery to give her a shot and do a hearing test; once I ran to drop off some library books and left her with Mike (aka daddy); once I ran to Target & the mall while she played with Caterina (my sister and mother of two) and Mike. Bam. Three times. That's it. All short trips of under 2 hours. Now suddenly I was contemplating being away from her for possibly 4 hours. With a babysitter!
Oh man.. am I up to this? Maybe I can take her with me? But no, you don't take a baby to a meeting with your boss and his boss unless they have agreed to it. Well, if the meeting goes too long I can always cut out, right? Right. Sure. Do I really have to leave her? Okay...okay.. she'll be just fine. I'll make sure to leave everything ready and Laurie, my friend from church, is going to come over to my house, so all her toys will be right here, it won't be such a change in routine for her. This will work. This WILL work.
Laurie arrived. Let's see now... here are the diapers.. extra clothes if her diapers leak... extra blankets if this one gets soiled.... crib to put her to sleep in... floor mat and toys for her to play with... diaper stash... wipes... here's a passifier, but she doesn't really like it... milk in a bottle in case she gets hungry (should last 2 feedings, but I should be home by then, but she's never had a bottle before, so I don't know how she'll take it)....you can use the computer... you're welcome to anything in the fridge...sorry for the mess... here are important phone numbers....she likes to have her legs masaged and her toes played with... surely I am forgetting something? Okay.. I have to go.. but maybe they wouldn't be mad if I take her to the meeting? No.. no she can stay. *sigh* I'm leaving now...
Heading out the door I almost picked up the diaper bag before remembering that I didn't actually have to take it, I could just take my purse. Okay. Getting into the car I checked the rear-view mirror to make sure the carseat was settled properly. Oh wait.. no baby. Driving along at the speed limit (yes I do that now) and realizing there is no baby in the back and I'm STILL going the speed limit. Wow. Never saw that one coming! I wonder if she's doing fine. Did I remember to tell Laurie about the extra clothes? What if she is crying hysterically and won't take a bottle? No, settle down. Laurie has 2 grown children of her own. She did just fine with them, Rachel will be fine for a couple of hours.
As it turns out, I was only in the office briefly, Rachel and Laurie were just fine, Rachel had her first bottle (took the whole 2 feedings at once.. guess that means pumping more often for me!), and Laurie and I had a great time afterward. I learned a great lesson here - I am not the only one who has had children before. Also, when Mike said it was so hard to leave us in the mornings to go to work I never really understood. Now I do. What I don't know is how I will ever be able to go back to work. Or take her to school. Or let her go on a date .. alone .. with a boy!
One day at a time. That's how I have to learn to be a mom. One day at a time.
Thus far in my lifelong trek into motherhood I can count the number of times I've been separated from Rachel without using up all the fingers on one hand. Once at the hospital they took her to the nursery to give her a shot and do a hearing test; once I ran to drop off some library books and left her with Mike (aka daddy); once I ran to Target & the mall while she played with Caterina (my sister and mother of two) and Mike. Bam. Three times. That's it. All short trips of under 2 hours. Now suddenly I was contemplating being away from her for possibly 4 hours. With a babysitter!
Oh man.. am I up to this? Maybe I can take her with me? But no, you don't take a baby to a meeting with your boss and his boss unless they have agreed to it. Well, if the meeting goes too long I can always cut out, right? Right. Sure. Do I really have to leave her? Okay...okay.. she'll be just fine. I'll make sure to leave everything ready and Laurie, my friend from church, is going to come over to my house, so all her toys will be right here, it won't be such a change in routine for her. This will work. This WILL work.
Laurie arrived. Let's see now... here are the diapers.. extra clothes if her diapers leak... extra blankets if this one gets soiled.... crib to put her to sleep in... floor mat and toys for her to play with... diaper stash... wipes... here's a passifier, but she doesn't really like it... milk in a bottle in case she gets hungry (should last 2 feedings, but I should be home by then, but she's never had a bottle before, so I don't know how she'll take it)....you can use the computer... you're welcome to anything in the fridge...sorry for the mess... here are important phone numbers....she likes to have her legs masaged and her toes played with... surely I am forgetting something? Okay.. I have to go.. but maybe they wouldn't be mad if I take her to the meeting? No.. no she can stay. *sigh* I'm leaving now...
Heading out the door I almost picked up the diaper bag before remembering that I didn't actually have to take it, I could just take my purse. Okay. Getting into the car I checked the rear-view mirror to make sure the carseat was settled properly. Oh wait.. no baby. Driving along at the speed limit (yes I do that now) and realizing there is no baby in the back and I'm STILL going the speed limit. Wow. Never saw that one coming! I wonder if she's doing fine. Did I remember to tell Laurie about the extra clothes? What if she is crying hysterically and won't take a bottle? No, settle down. Laurie has 2 grown children of her own. She did just fine with them, Rachel will be fine for a couple of hours.
As it turns out, I was only in the office briefly, Rachel and Laurie were just fine, Rachel had her first bottle (took the whole 2 feedings at once.. guess that means pumping more often for me!), and Laurie and I had a great time afterward. I learned a great lesson here - I am not the only one who has had children before. Also, when Mike said it was so hard to leave us in the mornings to go to work I never really understood. Now I do. What I don't know is how I will ever be able to go back to work. Or take her to school. Or let her go on a date .. alone .. with a boy!
One day at a time. That's how I have to learn to be a mom. One day at a time.
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