Sunday, December 26, 2010

Wrapping up the Year

 2010 is almost over. Is that possible? I feel like I lost half a year somewhere, and yet I've slept less in this past year than ever before in my life. Ridiculous, isn't it? I never realized that being a parent meant living in a state of constant exhaustion. How does anyone manage with 2? or 3? or 6? Craziness.

There still are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, but I've become partially reconciled to that sad fact of life. I've also learned what can and cannot be done with a baby in-tow. Cooking, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, picking up, shopping - yes. Moping, cleaning the bathroom, anything with chemicals, blogging - no. Take advantage of the baby's naps for the things you can't do with her, and hope she naps for a goodly amount of time.

Work is busy at this time of year, so I'm doing overtime as possible to to help out there and pay off a couple of things. It's nice to be back in the technology field. Very nice. I didn't quite realize how much I missed it. I have tried a couple of different fields since I left college - Customer Service, Marketing, Property Management - but I realize now that I really prefer technology. Which is not to say that I am spectacular at it - I am no Hacker's Anonymous, and my husband is better than me, but I really do enjoy fixing things.

The housework and I have come to an agreement: I will pay it attention as I can and it will.. well... it will continue to amass. Not just that, but we agree (it's somewhat of a coercion agreement) that if I ignore it, instead of amassing at a rate of 1x day it will amass somewhere in the vicinity of 7x day. I'm not really sure how that's fair, but who said life was fair, right? That's what my mom told me growing up.

This has been a year filled with the joy of watching my daughter grow up and the sadness of losing a couple of family members and friends. It's been a year full of blessings and craziness. Through it all I'm just happy for my life and my family.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My Hungry Daughter..

I realized today that my daughter eats much better than I do. She's onto chunks of things. I'll give her some rice cereal or yogurt with each meal, but mainly she eats her bites. By herself, mommy! While I do still have some cans of baby food around, I generally don't even break them open - she just gets bites of my food or some veggies I have in the fridge if I'm eating less-than-healthy foods. Here is a non-exclusive list of things she eats:

Sweet Potatoes
Green Beans
Potatoes
Carrots
Beets
Onions
Peas
Spinach
Bell Peppers
Tomatoes
Squash
Broccoli
Pears
Apples
Bananas
Peaches
Plums
Pineapple
Chicken
Beef
Turkey
Spam
Bologna
Hot Dogs
Noodles (macaroni, spiral, veggie, etc)
Rice (she IS Cuban, after all!)
Crackers
Wheat Puffs
Veggie Straws
Chex Mix
Wheat Bread
Yogurt
Cheese
Olives (green and black)
Lasagna
Stove Top Stuffing (who can resist?)
Ice Cream
Oh... and anything she can find on the floor

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Customer Is Always Right

To say that "the customer is always right" belittles the customer and the employee. It undermines the customer's ability to reason and reduces the employee's possibilities to act in the company's best interests. If the customer is always right, then the rules and guidelines of companies are there to be broken and/or waived, as long as you complain loudly enough.

To say that "the customer is always right" perpetuates the already inflated sense of entitlement that we, as Americans, feel. Please note that there is a difference between entitlement and right. Right is something you justly have a claim to while entitlement is the believe that one is deserving of a certain privilege (Webster's dictionary). As we all know, feeling we have the right and actually having the right are two different things. I may feel entitled to free pictures because I had to wait longer than the hour I originally expected, but unless I have a contract or agreement specifying free pictures after 1 hour then the feeling is all I have. Unfortunately for me at some places where "the customer is always right" I might actually get those pictures for free if I complain enough. Therein lies my frustration.

Perhaps a better assertion to model your business on would be that "the customer is number one." Being number one does not mean that the customer will always be right... in fact, as a company, I will actually respect you more if they are NOT always right. How can you expect your employees to educate the customer if they always have to give in? Educating your customer shows respect for their reasoning skills and their rights. Don't believe that? How would you feel if you had just paid $15.00 for photos after having waited for 15 extra minutes, and someone comes in behind you yelling and screaming and gets their pictures free? You have the right to be treated as everyone else. Now, if you had to re-do your entire photo order because the system lost your pictures, or ruined your film, that might be another story. I am by no means against doing things that bend guidelines "for business interests" as long as that is not the norm. Again - for the same reasons above.

It all boils down to respect. Respect your customer enough to show them right vs wrong, and respect them enough to treat them the same as all your other customers. Respect your employee enough to give them the tools and support they need to do the job you ask of them.

And by all means.... if YOU are the customer... please PLEASE respect the store employees! While you might be the most important responsibility that employee has, you are not the only one, and you are NOT always right.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Three Day Weekends

I don't have to be me 'til Monday
Friday, Saturday, Sunday
I ain't gonna face reality.
Three days without punching a timeclock
Three nights of goin' non-stop
No work and all play
I don't have to be me 'til Monday
-Steve Azar ('I Don't Have to be Me' lyrics)

   Sometimes you don't realize how much you needed a break until you are half way through your time off. This weekend became a three day weekend for our family - we flew out to Miami Friday night after work and returned Monday evening. Round about Saturday night I could feel my shoulders relaxing and realized how much I really needed the break. I'm not sure about you, but I get wrapped up in the things I have to do too often and forget about relaxing and taking breaths. I might not even realize until I start burning out, getting sick, or getting snappy.

Fortunately my husband is an avid sports fan, as is my aunt. As it happens, they are opposing team fans, and those opposing teams (Jets & Dolphins) were playing down in Miami this past weekend where my aunt has season passes. Three day weekend to Miami to see relatives, a football game, and not have to work, cook, or clean? Too good to pass up! It was great. The weather was cool (for Miami, that is) and the company was fantastic. I did not go to the football game (not my team) and instead stayed home to play with the baby and watch CSI, Law & Order, Mrs Doubtfire, and something else I don't remember right now. I re-realized how hilarious a movie Mrs Doubtfire is. She calls the children "nose miners." I laughed for a long time about that one. Surely you find that as amusing as I do.

Now that we're back I feel the urge of the things I "have to do" pressing in on me again, but I'm trying to just take things one step at a time so as not to get overwhelmed again. If you come over to visit you will find my house imperfect, at best, but full of love. Maybe even some relaxed parents. Maybe.

For now, I'm off to do some picking up and then to bed.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The End of the World is Nigh

On Friday, Sept 17, 2010, the end of the world as we know it began. I hate to be the bearer or bad news, but from now on nothing will be the same. Nothing. Rachel has begun to crawl. Granted, it took her long enough, but once she made up her mind to start she has not looked back.

For 2 months she has been on-and-off rocking on her arms and knees, but I've been at a loss as to how to teach her to crawl. Instead, someone suggested to teach her how to set up and lie down (voluntarily and independently of assistance). So I tried. If I rolled her to her side and held her hip, she could push up to a sitting position, but I could not get her to transition to doing it by herself. Finally she learned her own unique way. She will twist her legs to the side and go down OVER her legs. To sit up, she gets on her knees and then keeps going backward. At one point in the process it always looks like she's doing splits. I wish I were still that flexible.

For about a week, getting up and down was enough for her. Then she learned how to knee forward. In less than 24 hours from her initial attempt she was a pro. Now if you call her she can come toward you (albeit somewhta slowly). Once again, I realized how UN-baby-proofed my house was. As I lamented this fact to Rachel's Godmother yesterday she (who has been through 6 children) put me at ease: "Oh I never worried about baby-proofing. Just keep a safety lock on your cleaning supplies." [Note: that is not a direct quote because I do not have that great of a memory, however that was what I got out of it. I'm sorry, Shell, if I mangled your words.] Phew! What a relief. And thinking about it, I guess she's right. I seem to remember my mom putting a lock on the under-the-sink cabinet and closing all important doors when Heather and Josh were babies. I don't remember plug covers, but then again, there probably were. I have some, thanks to Mike, and will need to put them in here soon.

Today (Monday) I have to work and it's Daddy Day for the baby. I vacuumed and tried to pick up the most tempting items, and he did a great job of cleaning up cords and cables. I guess we will find out soon how bad of a job we've done. Baby-proofing rule #1: You never get everything.

Well I'm off to work...thanks for reading this, and if you'd like to share your stories about baby-proofing or the lack thereof, I'd love to hear them!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Mommy Time

Is there such a thing as Mommy Time? You know, where the Mommy gets to sit down, kick up her heels, and not think about all the chores still to do or take care of anyone? I used to think there was, and increasingly am thinking there needs to be, however less and less am I finding there actually is.

Can you put more hours in the day? So far I have not been successful. Right now my daughter is trying to help me put more awake hours in the day. She's sick, taking naps all over the place and not sleeping when she should. Usually if she's restless I can just snuggle her in bed with me and she'll fall asleep, but not tonight! She went from almost asleep to bursts of energy. I guess in a way it is good as I'll be able to work on this blog more. I started this post a couple of days ago, and if that doesn't tell you how little "mommy time" there is... well then I don't think anything would!

And suddenly I read a post by one of my good friend's "little" sister (who is not so little anymore!) that put everything in perspective. It's funny how things like that can happen. Your entire world can be put in perspective by one sentence. Possibly two. The one that did it for me on this occasion was this: "If you think you don’t have time to do anything, that probably means it’s time to pray, and then you’ll suddenly find that you have time to do everything else." (You can read the entire blog post if you click here.) How is it you never expect to hear something so wise come from someone younger than yourself? Thank you, Miriel, for putting things in perspective for me. And you were right - I already feel like I have more time.

So can there be more hours in the day? Probably not. Do there need to be more awake hours in the day? I've already tried that one and it had quite the opposite effect of making me crash. Is there ANYthing to be done? Pray ... and enjoy where you are at.. time or no time! :)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Rolling through 2010 like it was going out of style.


No doubt about it, we really have been rolling through 2010 at a ridiculously crazy pace. So much going on, so little time to blog about it. From now on I will make a concerted effort to blog at a more consistent pace. This whole blogging thing was much easier when I was pregnant and off work, or post-baby and out of work.

Well, so. Where to start? Tiny Baby? At 7.71 months - no longer tiny. (That decimal was for Mike, who is getting A's in Math even if it kills him). Mike & college? With two small exceptions he is pulling straight A's. The exceptions? He got A-'s in two of his classes. Work? I actually enjoy my job and am good at it. Mike's job? He likes his job and is also good at it. Cats? Crazy as ever, but have settled down a bit I think. Yappy dogs? Probably still yappy, but nowhere near me anymore - I've moved.

Where have I moved, you ask? To a house! Indeed. We purchased a nice little house in North Raleigh, and I am loving it. I don't think I will ever go back to apartments. If I had to rent ever again I would try to rent a house. I have no one above, below, or to the sides of me. I don't have to worry about what time of night I do my laundry or my vacuuming, or how loud I play my music when I clean. If I don't like something I can change it (Lowes/Home Depot here I come!). I have space for the baby to crawl around when she starts and for the cats to play. The sad thing is that I had enough furniture in my 1 bedroom apartment to comfortably fill up a 3 bedroom home. I only got two new pieces of furniture when I moved: an entertainment center (which broke when we tried to move it) and a coffee table (which is so sturdy you could not break it if you dropped it from a 3 story rooftop). I think I was either super efficient at the old place to fit everything in, or super crowded. We'll go with efficient.

Meanwhile Rachel changes weekly and learns things daily. She grabs everything with her tiny little pincer grasp, which is hilarious. She rocks back and forth on her hands and knees (see embedded picture) and scoots backwards, but has not quite started to crawl yet. New sounds, combinations of mastered consonants and vowels, trills, and giggles pour out of her at a furious pace. EVERYthing goes into the mouth. Yesterday I realized her first tooth had cut through her little gums completely and will soon be sprouting up, I am sure. She is not quite 8 months, but is on the upper end of her 6-9 month clothes. Peek-a-boo and spashing in the bathtub are current favorites. Can she really be this big already? I am astounded at how fast things change with her.

For now I must go, but more updates to come in the near future. :)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Random Mother's Day Thoughts

Words are not coming. Or perhaps it is that too many words are coming but nothing is forming a concise neat blog today. I guess that's how my life feels right now. So much going on and nothing neatly organized. Maybe I'll just write short thoughts today.

Today is the first Mother's Day that actually applies to me. Strange. I don't know if I thought it would feel different than any other day, but it kind of doesn't. Maybe that's because Mike had to work today. Yesterday felt more exciting because we were both off the entire day. It may sound funny, but I just don't feel old enough to be a mother. I know there are plenty of women younger than me who have more children, but.. well.. when did I become old enough to be a mother?

Last night Rachel was up and down all night long. I'm not sure if this is the beginning of the separation anxiety that they say babies around this age start to feel or not, but it is draining. The funny thing is that it goes in spurts. Before I was working she would wake up once a night to nurse and go back to sleep. After I started working it went up to a minimum of two times. Thursday night she slept all the way through the night and didn't wake up until I woke her up to feed her. I don't know what is going on with this child, but at least she's snuggly.

Mike and Rachel got me a card for Mother's day. He said he purchased the one that she got the most excited about. It's a cute card, and the thought of him holding up cards and her getting all excited was a great image. I love watching how excited she gets when he is around and how happy she makes him. Just seeing the two loves of my life grinning at each other is one of the best sights ever.

Tomorrow I have to be at work early. This next week I'm on the early shift from 7am-3.45pm. Nice part about that is I'll be getting out early. Unfortunately that also means waking up early. I'll also be out of training and on the floor..woohoo! No, that wasn't sarcastic either. I really am looking forward to being out of training and putting my skills to the test. I think it will help me to keep my mind off everything else if I have to be hands on instead of just listening to the trainer.

I'm looking around the apartment and there is so much to do to put it aright, but I just have no motivation to do any of it. I could leave it go, but I did that yesterday and today it's still there. Tomorrow it would just get worse if I don't take care of it. Tomorrow would probably also be worse motivation-wise because I will be up so early. I guess that's part of what being an adult and a mom means - you can make your own decisions, but you have to live with them later. I guess I will end this now to do some chores.

To all the mothers out there, whether you feel old enough or not, Happy Mother's Day!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Sleep is a crutch

Wow, I cannot believe how long it has been since I posted anything! Life has been crazy these past couple of  weeks. Actually for the past two months, more or less! First I went to Birmingham to visit my sister and while I was there got a call about coming in for an interview. The interview turned into a full time job, and now I am trying to make the life of a working mom... well... work. So far I have not killed anyone and my apartment is.. well... it is.

As I mentioned in my last post, I really do not know how some moms just make it look so easy. I struggle to keep things in line and still fall behind. Weekends are my catch-up time, however the past couple of weekends I have been out and about doing things. Or catching up on some much needed sleep. I was shocked to find out that I had slept in 3 HOURS on Saturday... and I still woke up at 8.30am. Those three hours were much needed, and much appreciated, but 8.30am? Really? On a day off? Oh well.

Work is going well and I am liking it, but every day is a challenge to leave Rachel behind. The worst is when she is actually awake because she will be sitting there with her daddy just smiling her little heart out at me, and then I walk out on her. The couple of times I have had to do that made me cry on the way in to work. I know I'm doing it for her but that still does not make it one tad easier. At least I know she is getting tons of snuggles with daddy, who loves her, and that she is making him smile for half the day that I am gone. After that it's off to play with Erin (her babysitter) and Nyla (her little friend) for her. After a day full of training (we're almost done with it now) I struggle against traffic to pick up my little snuggly bug, and then YAY I get the smiles and the love!! Her smile when I walk in the door and she sees me makes it all worthwhile.

Once we get home, it's time to do some chores, eat, make dinner for the next day, do some more chores, play/snuggle, love on daddy when he gets home, wash up for bed, and then go to bed. Lord help us if we fall behind on the chores, there will be no catching up till the weekend! I had been trying to stay up to get things done, because after all, "sleep is a crutch" (-Rosa Cannaverde), however I finally decided that if I get half of the things done I wanted to, then the rest can get done later. Best not to put a defined time on "later" either. MaƱana. I cannot function on 5 1/2 hours of sleep a night. Now I am getting about 6-7 and that seems to work much better. I guess by Rosa's standards I am probably a cripple, but I'll take the extra half hour or so!! I love you Rosa!

And now... off to get ready for a new day!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

On Hiatus and More...

Well it has been a really long time with no updates from the Auffhammers. There has been a lot going on and probably not enough time to talk about most of it before the baby wakes up, but I'll do my best to get the important stuff in.(Note: I did not get to finish more than the first 2 paragraphs before she woke up. It took me 2 days to get back to thinking about this post)


As some of you know, after having Rachel I took a 4 month hiatus from working. It wasn't exactly planned, but God works all to the good of those who trust in Him. Instead of having to rush back to work after 6 weeks of unpaid leave, I was able to stay home full time with my baby on unemployment for 4 months! Those have been some of the best months of my life. Watching my little Rachel grow and learn daily has been wonderful. Seeing her interacting more and more with her world and with daddy (and she IS daddy's little girl!!) is incredible. I am constantly amazed at how quickly she learns. 5 months ago she was still a kicking little ultrasound, now she is honing her fine motor controls.


This new job, while much to be preferred over my former job, is still a huge adjustment and an unwanted intrusion on my time with my husband and baby. Never in my life did I think I would say this, but I was actually content being a housewife and stay-at-home mom. I mean nothing disparaging towards either of those vocations - they are a lot harder than I ever believed! - I just never thought that either would be "for me." Nevertheless, with an eye on the future, I have taken a hiatus from being a full time mom and am back to work. Once again, what I thought was "easy" was just other people making something look easy. Working full time and taking care of a family (even as small as mine) is not... NOT I repeat.... easy. I am now in awe of my mother and my sister Caterina. Seriously? How have either of you not succumbed to exhaustion yet?


When going back to work I really did not want to put Rachel into daycare/childcare. Fortunately we have been able to work it out so that I am working days and Mike is working afternoon/evenings. This means Rachel is just with a nanny in the afternoons. While I hate leaving her, I do like that she is getting some interaction with another little girl. In the morning she is loving her daddy time and in the evening I am loving my baby time! Being away from her makes every moment with her more precious. I suppose I could go to sleep earlier to avoid some of this exhaustion, but I love spending time with Mike too. I'll adjust! Maybe I'll even be able to make it look easy after a while.


Anyhow, I'm already late as it is for getting ready this morning. To close this post I would like to share with you some of the women in my life who amaze me in their mom-hood (feel free to add your own):


   Denise Obregon (aka Mama, who put up with US)
   Caterina Wesson (aka my amazing sister raising 2 kids on her own)

   Katy Lockney (aka Grandma.. mom of 6, grandma to everyone!)

   Gloria Shively (aka Grandma.. constantly learning new things, pushing me to learn more too)

   Mary Auffhammer (aka mother-in-law, always so generous!)

   Paula York (taking in stray college students and making them feel loved)

   Shell Keim (mom of 6, making it look easy, and still taking on more!)


...I'm only stopping because I have 20 minutes to get ready for work, not because I forgot about anyone else. I love you all, and even you currently un-nammed ones are my inspiration. I hope someday I get to be as good at it as you are!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

On travel, babies, and assuming.

Have you ever been in a grocery store, at church, or some other enclosed area with a child wailing whose parent doesn't stop them? You think to yourself "Seriously? Why don't they do something about that child?" It's even worse when you are in an enclosed, moving space such as a car, bus, or airplane and cannot get away from the wails. I mean, really, how hard is it to just stick a passifier in the kid's mouth and let them have at? That was me this past Tuesday. No, not the irate person, the one with the baby. The wailing baby. Ouch.

You can feel the glares and irritation, even if everyone is conspicuously avoiding eye contact. "Why won't she do something?" "Is something wrong with that baby?" "Why would she even travel with a baby that size?" "This is not what I wanted or needed today." "How long is this flight again?" They were thinking it. I would have been in their shoes. In fact, the condemnations were that much worse because they were in my voice speaking back to me from years past.

To all parents with squally babies/toddlers who have ever been on the same flight, in the same building, or in the same general area as I have been: I am sorry. I did not understand.

Rachel started off so well. Though she usually does not wake up until between 10 o'clock and 12 noon, Tuesday she would not fall asleep after we got her bundled into some travel clothes and into the car carrier. Not. All through the trip there, through checkin, security, the walk to and wait at the gate her beady little eyeballs were taking everything in, bright and shiny. "Parents with children under 5 and those who need additional assistance can begin bording now." Woohoo..that's us! First time ever! We got in with no mishaps and not too long after we sat down she fell asleep and didn't wake up until we landed, at which time she stared at the guy in the seat next to us. (Incidentally, why is it okay for babies to stare at people and not adults?)

As always we had to treck half the airport to get to our next departure gate. I now realize why my mom had such strong arms when we were little. From passifiers to diaper bags to carseats, babies have a lot of baggage that accompanies them even for short jaunts to the store. Across airports is daunting, at best. Thank goodness for decent sized layovers. When we got to the gate she nursed up and I thought (hahahaha) that she would fall asleep through the next flight too. Boarding went smoothly and she was just as happy as could be. Until, of course, they closed the airplane doors and the pressure changed. Instantly she morphed into one not happy baby. Nothing worked. Not the passy, not my finger (usually sucking on my finger works if the passy doesn't), not nursing.. nothing. Waaaaaahhh.... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!! Oh the outrage! Oh the indecency. Oh oh ooooooohhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frantically I tried to calm her as I myself avoided all the other passengers eyes as studiously as they were avoiding mine. "No, no," I told her, desperately rocking and hugging. "No, no. You're not one of those babies! You're a happy baby! Remember? We talked about this! Happy! Happy baby!" It was a lie. It was a bald faced lie. We hadn't talked about it. I had assumed (and you know what they say about that) I was a good enough parent and she was a good enough baby that we could handle a plane easily. She knew it, and she was calling my bluff. "Waaaahhh! WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"  I had nothing. I had less than nothing. I had so little I couldn't even fold. Oh Lord, please let her be a happy baby! Please please please please.

To all parents with squally babies/toddlers whom I assumed I could do a better job than: I am sorry. I did not understand.

After a neverending 6 or 7 minutes she finally did quiet down and slept the rest of the flight. The entire flight and deboarding I managed to avoid looking anyone in the eyes. By the time I walked a couple of gates down the way the whole incident seemed comical. Blog titles and sentances were already composing themselves in my head. This wasn't so bad after all. In fact, what was I ashamed of? She's just a baby, I've seen worse. ...Uh oh.... knock on wood... we still have the return trip.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Cold Turkey or Ease Into It?

How do you explain to a 3 1/2 month old baby that bedtime isn't bedtime anymore when you really don't even get it yourself? Daylight savings is the bane of my life. Sure, you "spring forward, fall back" but what the heck is "forward"? Is 9 o'clock now 10 o'clock? Is 10 o'clock now 9 o'clock? What a mess. Guess I will be staying up to "11 o'clock" for a while trying to convince Rachel that some brilliant lawmaker back in the day knew what farmers wanted.

Do we really need daylight savings? Who else in the world uses this crazy time altering device? Surely if farmers in other countries can get along without Daylight Savings for all this time we could also. Not that I have ever been a farmer, but from everything I have read/heard it seems that farmers are up early - ether before or at dawn - to get their farm on the way. I would imagine they would just get up at dawn no matter WHEN it was in relation to everyone else getting up. Silly, I know, but there you have it. My feelings in a nutshell.

So. Now you have to go to bed earlier baby. Like as if the last time we changed your bedtime was not difficult enough, now we get to do it again. Either that or mommy can just stay up "late." The problem is that mommy likes to have time alone with daddy too. Not like we have a lot of time for that anyhow, but one hour is nice. Even 30 minutes is nice. Give me time to miss you.

Next decision.. will it be a gradual change in bedtime or will we be doing this "cold turkey" again? Cold turkey was so hard, is it really a decent option for this time? Add to that we will be visiting my sister in Birmingham this week and starting work nights on the 29th. Looks like this (bed)time change is not going to be fun. Especially for Mike, who does not have the option of nursing the baby to sleep if she is fussy. Maybe this time we will have to ease into the change, but if so that means that Mike will be staying up past his regular bed time for a couple of days to get her to bed. Once upon a time when we were young (did I really just say that?) we could go to bed as late as we wanted and still be okay for the next day.

Ah, Daylight Savings, how I wish you would save me the pain of your visits!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Breastfeeding: an amazingly controversial topic!

In March of 2009 Mike and I found out that we were parents. No, you did not read that wrong, I say "were" instead of "were going to be" because I believe you start being a parent immediately and regardless of if the baby is born. This is not a pro-life argument or post, so if you were getting excited then I am sorry to disappoint you. It's merely an observation. Haven't you noticed that once people find out they or their partner is pregnant they start to change? What they eat, what they drink, their exercise routines, money spending habits, etc... all to prepare for this little baby. That is being a parent and it starts immediately.

Naturally I started reading up on all types of things I would need to know as a parent. What and what not to eat while pregnant. What to expect at different stages of pregnancy. What types of medicines can cross the placenta barrier. What to expect from labor and delivery. How to budget for a baby. What types of things a baby will need once they are born. And of course, breastfeeding. I read everything I could - the good, the bad, and the ugly - then I asked anyone I could about everything I could. It's a new and scary world out there and I wanted to be as prepared as possible - like for exams. Little did I realize there IS no preparing for babies. At least, no adequate preparation.

There were a couple of things I decided off the bat that I wanted to do: breastfeed, not spoil my children, teach them Spanish, read to them, not use the TV as a babysitter, among other things. Looking back, it would seem to me that I decided to be more like my mom. That being the case, I have some big shoes to fill ... and not just because she wears a size 9 and I wear a size 5 1/2! If I can be half as good a parent as she was I will be happy. Naturally I did not see it that way when I was a teenager, but with a few years additional experience under my belt, and the impending parenthood, I changed my mind. Maybe Mama really did know what she was talking about. (Should I admit that in writing?)

Recently I was browsing through Facebook groups that my friends had joined and came across one called something to the effect of "If you don't like breastfeeding why don't you put a blanket over YOUR head." Now, honestly, I am on Facebook to connect with friends and family that I can't otherwise see. I do belong to a few groups, but they are recipe shares or groups of my immediate friends/family. Upon occasion I will check out a group a friend has joined, but that's about it. Until I started reading some of the posts in this particular group, I did not realize how controversial a topic breastfeeding is - I thought it was just "no duh" of parenthood. Of course you are going to breastfeed if you can, right? I do understand it is not feasible for everyone - parents of children in the NICU don't have that option, some children don't "take" no matter how hard a mom tries, rare children are allergic to breast milk (thank goodness for formula!) - but if it's feasible who wouldn't want to give it a try?

Reading the posts I was disabused of my (naive?) notions. Apparently not every mother wants to nurse her baby. Some women even expressed a bit of disgust (I could not tell if they had children of their own or not) at the idea. Some nurse their baby, but go hide in a room if there are people over, or use a pumped bottle if they are out. Others - like the group's founder - were upset that mothers would even consider putting a blanket over the baby's head if they were out in a public area. The point they make is that you see more at the beach or on the covers of magazines in the line at the grocery store than you do when a mother is nursing her baby, so why all the fuss? As with all groups, you agree with some points, disagree with some points, and partially agree with others.

Since browsing that group I have spoken with women who had a child in the NICU and could not, who had twins and never tried, who tried and stopped because of the pain (poor latch?), and still others who did not give up even when the hospital nurses didn't think the baby would be able to nurse. All the women I have spoken with have their own stories and feel very strongly about their decisions, and will defend their choices vehemently, as did the women in the Facebook group.

For me it was an eye-opener to realize that even on something I thought a no-brainer can be extremely controversial. It made me re-examine some of my other pre-conceptions regarding life, the universe, and everything. Okay, so maybe it wasn't that earth-shattering, but the realization that what I accept as black and white might not be so for someone else made me think about the reasons behind my beliefs. I have not changed my position - I am nursing my baby and proud of it! - but it may have changed the way I approach others about it.

As always, I invite comments, but am not inciting a riot.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Combis and Micros

Back to the Andes series again. As always you can read independently, but it was meant to be read consecutively with some other snapshots from this series. The previous installment was DĆ­a de Arequipa (part one and part two). 

Have you had your fill of this enchanted world yet? No? Good. I can see that the strings have been attached and you are being reeled in. Can you hear the rhythm yet? Can you feel the beat of the call start to tug at your mind, seducing you without trying? Has it entwined your thoughts so that you cannot disregard it? Come now, let us go for a ride, shall we?

Approaching the street, your eyes are caught by the enormous amounts of buses lined up on the street. Big buses, little buses, all just waiting on a few more customers. They all fascinate you. The big ones are called "Combis" the little ones "Micros." Some of the large ones look rather like a school bus, and in looking closer you can tell that some are, and have just been painted a different color. The micros look like vans, or sometimes are a bit larger than vans. All of them have been gutted and more seats than might have been thought possible by the designers were put in. Benches with backs really. Usually with some type of sparse padding. They are run by two people: the driver and the cobrador (collector), two very interesting people by all standards.

The driver is by necessity somewhat of a crazy maniac, at least this is what can be deduced from his weaving patterns and constant horn blaring and the string of blue that comes out of his mouth whenever he gets cut off by another suicidal driver. And yet somehow, he never seems to be really upset with all the commotion, that is just standard behavior. The cobrador, now, he is altogether another breed of human. Fearless and loud, he can range from around 12 to mid or late 20s. Sitting at a stop he ops off the bus and starts belting out the next few locations on his particular bus route. A complicated singsong list, it takes a bit for your ear to grow accustomed to the rhythm and sort out what he is actually saying.

Look here, this is the combi we want. Come, let us get on and find some seats. It looks as though there are plenty of seats left, you will not have to stand for this ride unless you decide to give up your seat in favor of some other person later on. What an amazing assortment of people there are on this bus. Elderly and young, middle and lower class, women, men and children, maids and executives, the buses are always a good place to be to people watch. Crowded together as they are normally on these rides, everyone becomes equal in some sense. There is an inherent code of honor or how things work on the combi. If someone more deserving of a seat comes along - be that more tired, elderly, pregnant or needy looking - then a seat will be given up for them. On the other hand, everything else being equal, seats are fair game and no manner of pity will be shown to a late comer.

Glancing around you realize that you have lost sight of the cobrador and wonder where he has disappeared to, no longer can you hear him for all the other cobradores and people at this stop. The combi has started to move no, and for a moment you wonder if the driver doesn't realize that his other half is not on the bus. Now you see him though, wandering back through the crowded stop at his leisure, still belting out his string of half incomprehensible locations. Will he make the bus? The combi driver isn't really slowing down much to look for him, but instead is just slowly driving off. But here comes the second in command: hopping on now with no problems, still halfway hanging out the door calling destinations, looking for last minute passengers.

Moving down on the street as no more prospective passengers are in sight, the combi starts to pick up speed. Our cobrador retires from his perch on the door's bottom step and, no longer hanging out of the door, starts on his way towards the back of the bus. Now he has a handful of coins out and is clicking them together with a particular chink-chink that comes natural to him, though when you try it isn't so well imitated. "Pasajes a la mano" he states in a calm and clearly audible voice, "Have your fare on hand". Get your money out, this is where he gets his title from: he is the money collector. 20 centavos for students (must be wearing a uniform), 50 centavos  for adults. On the micros it tends to be a bit more because they cannot fit as many people in, but the nice part about a micro is that while it is small, there is not any worries about having to stand up the whole ride. Amazingly the making of change is a one handed process for this multitasking individual who can take the sol you gave him and hand you back 50 centavos quicker than you could have with two hands.

Would you like to get off and walk around for a bit? I'll let you do the honors of stopping this bus. No? Not sure how? Well here, let me show you then. Get up, we need to walk to the door. Don't worry about battling the rhythm of the buss, just flow with it. Bend your knees a bit more and try not to be so stiff. Hold on the hand rails on the roof- that is what they are for; that and the people we are now crowding by to get off of the bus. "Pare en la esquina!" Stop at the corner! Brace yourself, here comes the stop. Ah, now jump off and move out of the way, because the bus is already moving on leaving you behind.

Come now, let us walk around and see what else can be found in this city that will haunt you when we go back. Remember that when you do go back there will be no more escaping this intoxicating city, country, continent. Older than old it is there calling to you. But come... let us walk around...

In looking for pictures, I came across this other blog post from whence I borrowed the picture.

Monday, February 22, 2010

All Hail the Thumb!

It has been brought to my attention that I have slacked on my blogging in the past couple of days and that the re-posting, while interesting, does not actually give updates on things like...oh say...grandchildren. In my defense... well... there is no adequate defense. I was told once that reasons are just excuses in disguise, so instead I will go about the business of updating my blog now.

A couple of weeks ago we had friends visiting from Ohio - Randall and Paula & Andy and Holly. We had a great time visiting and they got to meet Rachel, who at the time was two (2!!) months old. Mike and I hadn't seen them since May at Andy and Holly's wedding, and it was nice to catch up with some of the people who were in my every day for 3 of my 4 years of college. It was definitely too short of a visit, as visits tend to be.

While they were here we caught up on recent happenings, remembered old times, quoted movies - like the Emperor's New Groove, played Scrabble and watched a couple movies. We went to the mall to see the Apple store (Randall doesn't HAVE to go to an Apple store in every place he visits, but....) and got to see a couple other stores too like Bath and Body Works. Rachel managed to spit up and poop through a couple layers of clothing onto Holly's beautiful non-machine-washable jacket. The guys - wonderful gentlemen that they are - offered to change the massively poopy diaper, and I am still trying to decide if it was an excuse to not accompany us into the B&BW store or not. Probably not, right?

We had some good laughs, took some good pictures, and then they were gone in a whirlwind on to Charlotte and Warsaw, NC, to see some other friends before returning to Ohio. Randall and Paula are now in Brazil on a 7 week trip (see their blog here) and are making me quite jealous with their pictures. Not a good Lenten sentiment, guys! Hold off on the pictures till I'm not trying to improve myself, eh?

Meanwhile, it occurs to me that I have not posted any updates on my attempts to train myself into habits. Has it been 6 weeks? I'm not quite sure, but if you have to re-start the ticker from each time you mess up, then it is probably closer to 1 week. Scratch that - one day! Ugh, habits are not easily formed! While Rachel is doing much better at sleeping around 10pm now, I am not entirely sure that it has anything to do with my attempts, or if it is to be entirely attributed to her having found her thumb. The thumb is powerful and puts her to sleep better than I can! Pre-thumb she was sleeping around 4.5-6 hours during the night. With the powers of the thumb she now sleeps 7-10 hours (I am discounting the fact that she usually wakes up around 4.30am because now the thumb puts her back to sleep and she doesn't need to nurse). All hail the thumb!

So that's the good news. The bad news is my attempts to be more organized and pro-active are a constant struggle and one day of slacking usually results in a massive struggle the next for me to care enough to keep going. Don't be misled - my apartment is not nearly the disaster it was after Rachel was born and after my grandmother was no longer around to help. It is actually pretty decent - dishes are done daily, vacuuming more often, and the place is generally picked up. Dinner gets made nearly every evening; sometimes we subsist on leftovers. What I cannot figure out is how people used to handle life living on farms and eking out a living from the wild. It appears laziness was just not an option. Cooking, cleaning and childcare have been much simplified with  the use of gadgets and technology, but have these made life better? But that is another topic, and one I will not delve into at the present.

Instead: would anyone like to come and help me with my larger projects? I'll make you lunch! No? Well I guess I had better get down to it for the day....

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dia de Arequipa (part two)

Here we go, it's part 4.2 of the Andes series. Don't forget this is the second half of a story; you really need to read the first half first! Part 4.1 is Dia de Arequipa (part one). Hope the suspense from yesterday didn't kill you! :)

Every school that is any school has its band, some type of dance group, or at least batallones out for the festivities. What is a batallón? Just what it sounds like - a battalion. Silly you think, to call a bunch of marching students this? Maybe so, but so caught up in their history it is that never will it change. Dressed up in their school uniforms, the "best of the school" are lined up here on parade. A few from each grade to represent the entire school, chosen for their grades and marching skills, here it is an honor to be one of the few chosen. Every child has to know how to march in their own school, but the ones chosen to march outside the school walls and put forward the school name are picked carefully. Strange how something that would be considered to be a chore in the United States would inspire such hard efforts here in Peru. Oh, look, they are moving out now. Why do you laugh? Ah, because they are goose-stepping. Yes, well again, it is something that is very caught up in their history.

Shall I tell you a bit about this part of the history? Peru was under military control for many years, not too far in the distant past, and everything was run by those standards. Due to rampant terrorism, dominated in the majority by the Sendero Luminoso or Shining Path Guerrillas, all schools were required to adopt what is called the uniforme Ćŗnico, the "only uniform." This regulation uniform was to help protect the rich children from being kidnapped based on their clothing and held for ransom. At the same time that the uniforme Ćŗnico was implemented other military procedures began to creep into the schools. Do you begin to see where this fascination with parades and marching comes from? Just wait till they get before the grandstand and begin to really kick up their heels. Shall we head over that way now?

The spashes of color and swirls of dancers' skirts are all over the place. Nearing the central plaza the crowds grow thicker and it is much harder to get a glimpse of anything, having to walk at the back of the crowd as we are. No matter, reservations at one of the restaurants on the plaza await. Balcony seats with a clear view of the streets and events below with all of its participants - marchers and spectators alike. Today seats like those are hard to come by and very expensive, even if you know someone who might... make the process easier... shall we say. Ah, here we are! Come, shall we ascend to our table and watch the events unfold below?

First come the pendants, decrying the schools to follow. Accompanying the pendants are the galardones - the awards that each school (battalions and bands) have won in contests. Next comes the band, playing their marching tunes. Here they stop, turn, and walk up into the Plaza, crowding together with enough room to still play and do a 90 degree turn. So now they are facing the street but standing up away from it. Following the band is the batallón marching smartly along in their neatly pressed uniforms and white gloves. Have you noticed that all the people marching have white gloves? Probably pointless trivia, but interesting none the less. The dancers follow, and the band either strikes up a new tune or keeps silent as some other music is broadcast from some speakers for the dancers to take their cues from. Colors all over dart out at you. Bright bold colors from dancers and bands alike - no dull colors today. Once the dancers pass, the band moves back into the street and takes up the vanguard, following with some music of their own as they make their exit. Fear not though, this is still early in the parade... there are many many more to come with their gay festivities!

Ah... I can see you tapping your foot to the beat. Do you know, I wonder, that the beat you are tapping out is the beat of the call? Subtle is it not? Everything is falling into place, then, and the strings are being irreversibly placed onto your heart...


Still more to come in this series, but this chapter is finished. Hope you are enjoying.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Dia de Arequipa (part one)

Welcome to part four (actually 4.1) of the Andes series. This is a continuation of some homesick writings I did a couple years back. Part three is Ciudad Blanca. It can be read independently, but I suggest following the series as it was written. Because this chapter was so long, I am dividing it up into two segments.

The hustle and bustle of the crowd around you only serves to pique your interest more. Obviously there is something of interest going on today. The city is decked out in its finest colors and everyone is out in the streets. All week long there has been a tension in the air, as if the whole city were building up to something important. The little shops have been selling firecrackers and all sorts of festive wares for the past month. Today you woke up early with anticipation and feeling the excitement that runs along the air. The city has been awake for a while already today, even though it is only 9:30am. In the chaotic patchwork of images around you, your mind picks out a few to store away as memories to be pulled out at a later date.

On the corner a child of indeterminate age, somewhere between seven and twelve, carries a little box that hangs around her neck by a leather strap. In the box, probably two feet long by one foot, and 6 inches deep, the child carries a wide variety of cheap candy, gum, and cigarettes. At first all you see is someone selling candy, then it registers... this is a child. She has flip flops on her calloused feet, both her and her clothes look like they haven't been washed in quite some time, if ever. At first you didn't realize because she doesn't act like a child. This little girl can already count out change for her customers, she hawks her wares like a pro, and has a little boy of probably three or four tagging along behind her. Her eyes tell you that she is a twenty or thirty year old stuck in a child's body. This little lady has grown up quite beyond what your little sister could expect to be when she is twice that age. Never having been to school, and never expecting to, this girl already is one of the primary breadwinners of the household and guardian of the younger children. In a daze you feel her putting your change back into your hand and then she is moving off to sell more of her wares.

Something brushes past your knee level and you look down to see a mangy dog weaving in and out between the people. Have you noticed all the stray dogs in the city? They eat where they can, and usually run from people and crowds. No one really cares about them, nor is anyone really scared of them. Is there a pound? Most assuredly there is, but it is already full and has no time to worry about all the rejected animals on the streets. Today most strays are not out because of all the people who are out en mass.

As your eyes absentmindedly follow the mutt, you notice that the buses are having quite a time trying to get through the people on the small streets like this one. Their usual kamikaze style of drving has become worse at this point from having to deal with the crowds. You wonder how it is that no one has been run over yet, or why the bus drivers have not bust some internal organ from all the outrage that they seem to be suffering from. Taxis also are in the same predicament, but being smaller, it is easier to weave in between the people and potholes found scattered throughout the streets.

Somewhere ahead you hear some strains of music and you notice that the crowds are getting thicker. It sounds like a band is practicing. No... two bands now. Marching bands, by the sounds of all the instruments. Rounding the corner there they are. But there are more than two. Row upon row of dancers and dressed up cars in between them. What is all this? Have you no clue? I'll tell you then... this is Día de Arequipa... the most celebrated day of the year here in the city of Arequipa. August 15th, the day this city was founded on, this is a day to show pride and joy at being Arequipeño. For such as we, who were not privileged to be Arequipans by birth and yet still feel a tie to this fantastic city, we are allowed to be Arequipeños de corazón... in heart and spirit. Settle back, enjoy the festivities, the day proposes to be outstanding.




..Get ready for part 4.2 tomorrow! ...

Monday, February 8, 2010

Ciudad Blanca

Below is part three of the Andes series. Part two of the series is The Mountains. Looking back, I was very upset with people who considered the only "important" thing to be "progress" and would completely ignore history if possible. But to someone who has been where history lives, ignoring it seems to take the beauty out of life. 

Misti, Chachani, and PichuPichu, the three volcanoes that surround Arequipa. By far the dominant one is Misti, and it first catches your eye. Visible from anywhere in the city, the tall peak is covered with snow and surrounded by a constatn cloud. At times the cloud is thick, making it seem as if the whole mountain is just in your imagination. At others, the swirling of the mist makes it seem as if the volcano is erupting again. Yet other times, the mist clears and leaves a beautiful, picture perfect moment, belying the dangers that the dormant volcano holds. Look again, though, and you will realize that the jagged crest holds no promise of benevolence on behalf of the human population living below it in calm content. While dormant now, this majestic volcano has, and will, continue to make life lively for the city's inhabitants.

Unlike Misti, both Chachani and PichuPichu are extinct. This, however, does not stop them from being beautiful. Comprised of multiple peaks, these two volcanic mountains are, like Misti, topped with snow. It is as if the very tips of all these mountains had been covered with a light frosting of powdering just for effect. Not in many, many years has anyone in Peru met an actual snowflake, and at that, it was not much and buried deep in childhood memories of the "one time it happened to me" region. The snow glitters in the early morning sunlight and the volcanoes, especially Misti, are framed perfectly by the glowing rays. Living beneath such grandeur day after day by no means makes it mundane or detracts from the dangerous beauty of the peaks. Nature has a way of reminding the inhabitants of Peru that she is still there. Temblores, tremors, are a constant factor of life in Arequipa. Daily life does not stop unless there is an actual earthquake, and then not for long, simply long enough to pick up the dead and wounded and continue on. Voluntad de Dios, the will of God.

Shift your gaze now from the mountains down to the city, to Arequipa, Ciudad Blanca,  the White City. It sprawls across the whole valley that these three volcanoes create and creeps up into the foothills. Bustling and full, yet relaxed and untroubled by the passage of time, it combines all sorts of architecture, from the simple to the complex, from the old to the new. Next to each other you will find houses with three walls and a roof of corrugated tin, a house of adobe (mud bricks), a house of cement, and a house of sillar (volcanic rock). Stop for a moment and think... this city has been around almost as long as the constitution of the United States of America, and unlike most cities in the USA, it has kept its history and as you walk along the streets you will see it portrayed in everything you pass. Think for a moment... what is progress if we leave our past behind? If we lose our identity, will it help to rush on as fast as we can? When was the last time you were in a building that could compare your lifetime to the blink of an eye?

But listen, can you hear the music that's floating up here to where we are standing now? Folkloric music of the type that puts to shame our modern and contemporary music. Music older than old, that is found in the roots of the mountains and by some chance is found and caughtup by a human and taken back to others. Music that creates images of far away lands, beautiful places, stirring your blood and heart. Music that is part of the call, sometimes accompanied by words, sometimes no words can do justice to the call. Does it really matter what they say? Not in the least. They speak of love of the land, pride of being born in this place, of beauty, of mystery, but even were you not to understand it (and well you might not), just listen... is it tugging at you yet? Instruments not really known to the northern "civilized" world, these have been around forever and are capable of making you feel more than any electric guitar ever could. The zampoƱa- reed pipes that vary from a handsbredth to being as large as a human being, the quena- a wooden flutelike instrument, the charango- looks to be a miniature guitar or something like a banjo, but emits sounds much finer than any banjo ever could, the bombo- a large base frame drum covered with animal hide, the cascabeles- rather like a large bunch of seed pods that are shaken for rhythm. Can you hear it? Listen, it's getting louder...

[more to follow...]

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Mountains

Below is part two of the Andes series. Part one of this series is "The Call". I hope you are enjoying. The video at the end is mostly for music. As it is quite long I recommend playing it while you read the below post.


Deep in the Andes Mountains, the call originates. From somewhere within the mists, the arroyos, the rain forests, the altiplanos and folds of the mountains, the string pulls. Can you feel the pulse? As you soar in over the mountains, you realize that these... these are real mountains. These are not simple hills that make you think "oh how tall, how pretty," no, these are grand. When you look at them it inspires awe. Tall and unforgiving, beautiful and bold, mysterious and full of history, they are as close to eternal as human beings can come in this world. Some are bare, some are covered with rain forests. Some are desert mountains, some contain shrubs. Looking at them, it is easy to believe that the word majestic was made for such as these.

How many civilizations have lived in these mountains? How many have died here? What ruins of older times exist in the folds of these beautiful and treacherous slopes that have yet to be found, or that will never be found? To look at them, one can easily imagine the conquest of the new world happening as we speak. Mist folds around us as we fly over the cordilleras. Shadows and sunlight contrast to bring out in bold relief treasures untold. It is easy to see how a complete civilization might be lost here thousands of years in the past, to be found tomorrow, and remind us of what we have lost. Suddenly, progress does not seem like progress at all. What do these mountains care about DSL or skyscrapers? In a hundred years you and I will not be here, but they will remain.

Through these mountains so many different tribes roamed. TaquileƱa, Cupisnique, Huari, Chavin, Chimu, Inca, Nazca, Aymara, Quechua, and on and on the list goes. Living with each other, taking over surrounding tribes as opportunity permitted, dying out. Then followed the Spanish, with their dreams of riches and conquest. How brave, how modern, how civilized they thought themselves. How right and knowledgeable. How in control those Spanish thought they were, like as if no other nation had taken over another one in those same regions. Like as if no one could possibly take them over later. They were the top of the food chain. And the mountains laughed.

Keep your eyes closed, let me take you now to the country of PerĆŗ. Into the heart of the Andes mountains we go, you and I, strangers in this timeless land, yet pulled here by a string that makes no difference between peoples. Can you feel the rhythm yet? No matter, it will catch you soon enough. Past the ManĆŗ rain forests = with all their one of a kind wildlife and gorgeous rivers, flowers, trees, and people. Past Lima and Ica on the coast with their bustling fisheries and even busier cities full of progress and history. Past the desert expanses of Nazcca and over the Nazca lines we travel. Over more mountains and now we're almost there, almost to the place that has captured my heart, almost to Arequipa.

Over one final crest, and there it lies, cuddled in the bosoms of three volcanoes, full of more history than you or I can imagine: Arequipa. Ciudad Blanca, de eterno azúl, puro sol, montañas de cillar... Mariano Melgar, along with many others, expressed better than I the place it is. Arequipa the White City, eternal blue sky, pure sun, mountains of volcanic rock. So much said in so few words for those of us who have been there, but not enough for those who have not. So let me show you this place, you whom only have my words to put the images of a lifetime into your blood. Listen... can you hear it? It's calling...

[More to follow...]

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Call

The following is a reprint of some of my writing from years back. I was very homesick at the time and it turned into a series of short snapshots. There are a couple of installments, I'll post them bit by bit. Hope you enjoy!

Shhh... can you hear it? They're calling. Be still for a moment... can you feel their call pulsing through your blood? Like a heartbeat foreign to your own, on it's own steady rhythm, millions of years old, it's calling you back. Pulling you in with a string that was attached without your knowledge, it will catch you at a time when you least expect it. In the middle of your busy life, with all the sounds of your hectic existence going on around you, pause but for a second and all of a sudden you will realize the pulse is there.

Their call is like a live creature, it has a mind of its own. It lurks in the background, waiting for you to realize that something is there, and once you have, it pounces. Stronger and stronger it grows, singing through your entire being, vibrating, twisting, pulsating, showing you everything that could be, that was, and that you no longer have, making you wish you still had it, or that you could go back. Be careful where you pause, the call has never bothered with decorum. It will leave you aching and despondent in the middle of a meeting, a class, a date, a walk, or just in the middle of your room. At  the same time, what a glorious call it is! I should warn you, the ache does not come from this pulsating creature, but from having to deny it. So again, be careful where you pause.

But what is this? You say you have never heard this exquisite sound? Perhaps you have never been close enough for the string to be attached. Or perhaps no one has brought the string close enough to you. Close your eyes... shall we travel? I will take you to this far away land from whence originates their call. Pause from your daily life and settle down for a moment. Put aside all your busy chaotic thoughts and come with me to a place older than old. Close your eyes and let me paint you a picture.

Halfway around the world lays a land that laughs at us. Laughs at creatures who think that two hundred years is a long time. That in two hundred years you can form greatness. What are a paltry two hundred years when compared to thousands of years? What kind of culture can you form in two hundred years that could stand up for one honest moment against the intricate beauty of one that has been in formation for more than 20 times that length? A simple wink conspires to be greater than a gaze. Beauty against grandeur. Will you not laugh too?

So let us begin our journey to this enchanting land... Let us go to this place where the exotic is an everyday experience and every day experiences are exotic. Let us go to this place where the ancient and modern worlds meet and coexist. Stop the clock and relax. For just a moment, let us become someone we are not, or in some cases, become again that which we are. Can you hear the drums? Can you hear the reed pipes? Can you feel your blood begin to stir in response to them? Close your eyes... let me paint you a picture of South America...

[Part two is "The Mountains". Meanwhile, may I suggest this group?]

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Rug of Death and other short stories

One day some time ago, in a small one bedroom apartment somewhere in central North Carolina, something extraordinary happened to an unsuspecting family. Their hallway rug which had hitherto been a simple, if rather handsome, woven mat morphed into the Rug of Death. Following is the true story of this event and the days thereafter.

The rug had been a gift from the husband's parents who were quite unsuspecting of its true nature. That in itself is surprising as this particular rug had been in their possession for quite some time before they had gifted it to the young couple. Its twin sat in the front entryway of the couple's apartment and boasted of an assortment of shoes. Ironically, the entryway rug to this day remains a gentle soul who loves to entertain the family's and visitor's shoes. Not so with the Rug of Death.

The young couple acquired both rugs over New Year's weekend. They brought it home and after a couple of days decided on the perfect placements. It is possible that the reason the hallway rug turned bad is from jealousy. It did not get to entertain shoes on even the most infrequent of occasions, while it's companion rug was constantly celebrating. This would have been enough to drive the most unselfish of rugs to despair, however to add insult to injury, the couple used the hallway rug to cover up a mass of cords. A coverup rug! Really? The rug must have brooded for weeks.

Finally the whole situation became too much for the rug. One day, the unsuspecting young wife looked over to check on her baby daughter and the rug was all bunched up. Not only bunched up, but she saw it moving! It had grown into a lump. An angry lump. The wife, however, did not realize her peril, and went to straighten out the rug. Next thing she knew the rug had sprouted claws and teeth! Oh no! She retreated hastily. Look there - a tail! Oh goodness, things are not looking good for our heroine. Maybe she could tame it - if nothing else it was essential to try to save her baby daughter. The Rug of Death saw her approaching and it meowed. The young wife retreated hastily again and decided to wait it out.

Eventually, the Rug of Death became so irate that it had kittens. Well, a kitten. Okay, so it had a full blown cat! After that it was silent for a while - probably recuperating.  To this day one must be careful, because at times it becomes again so irate that it lashes out at the nearest foot. So if you are ever in central North Carolina, and you happen to visit a family with two rugs, make sure you keep your feet to yourself!





If you liked this story, let me know.. other short stories might follow!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

6 week habits

In speaking with my mother (aka Su Majestad) she informed me that it takes 6 weeks to make a habit. I assume that means to break one also. No wonder it is so difficult to change behaviors! Does anyone have any new years resolutions that they have still kept?

There are a couple of habits that I am currently trying to make (or break). Some of those are even mine! If you've been reading this blog, you know I have been trying to change Rachel's bed time from 12am to a more reasonable 10pm. I realize now that it's not her habits I needed to change, but my own. She can't do a doggon thing on her own. I should have learned this from all the times I watched the Dog Whisperer. NOT that I am comparing my daughter with a pet, you understand. Cesar always makes it clear, however, that most of the bad habits dogs have is a direct result of their owner's behavior/habits. Now you see the parallel? To change Rachel's sleep habit, I have to change my habit of laziness and not only make a routine but keep it.

It's been about a week now that I've been working on her bed time. We started a routine and I have been faithfully keeping to it. Not that she really appreciates going to bed at 10pm, but after she screams her head off for a couple of minutes (we're up to 11min now, I add one per night) I go in, nurse her, and she knocks off before 11pm. Still an improvement on 12am. Tonight she actually fell asleep all by herself, no screaming (it's 10.26pm as I type this). I'm not sure if it's because the shots she got at her wellness checkup made her drowsy or because this is actually starting to work. I'm not holding my breath, but last night she did sleep 7.5 hours straight, so she is getting a hang of this sleep thing.

Another habit that I've been attempting to cultivate for approximately 2 weeks now is being proactive. The opposite of laziness. The opposite of "there's always tomorrow, today I want to play with the baby." Hard to do, but as I keep finding out over and over, it is much easier to stay on top of things than to try to get back on top of something you let get away from you. Like laundry, dishes, vacuuming, sorting papers, and all the other interminable things that need doing around the house. So far those 2 weeks have been mostly proactive. The laundry is completely done, the dishes are done daily, all the recent papers are done and an attack plan for the filing cabinets exists, the vacuuming is done... woohoo!

Next week I need another habit to start (more than one a week will NOT work). Maybe going out walking once a day? Exercise is important. Maybe just starting out with the yoga videos. Maybe learning a new recipe every couple of days? I do like to cook, even if it is more difficult with a baby. Hmm... any suggestions?

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Nominations for Best Husband 2009 Awards.

I know it's a bit late, but I would like to nominate my husband, Mike Auffhammer, for the Best Husband 2009 Award. Just in case the awards have already been presented, then I will go ahead and nominate him early for the 2010 round. We're onto our third year of marriage and I am excited to see what will turn up this year.

So what has he done this past year to receive a nomination for this award? Well let me just tell you:


November 2008 he tells me that he's been thinking about it and would like to have a baby. Quite a surprise to me, but I was all about it, so sure! March of 2009 we found out I was pregnant and the whole pregnancy Mike was incredible. He made sure I took care of myself, ate enough, took my vitamins and got enough rest. If I wanted to go walking we would. If I wanted something to eat he'd make it. If I needed help with getting the laundry out of the washing machine because my ginormous belly just would NOT allow me to reach the bottom, he'd help. I'm not used to being so pampered, even by myself!!

In May he told me he had been looking into colleges for getting a degree in Information Technology. This is a field he wanted to be in for a while, but a college degree is a long term commitment. In June the online courses began and he has put in such a great effort that he now has six, count them, SIX straight A's. To date he has maintained a perfect 4.0! Don't be jealous.

As we got closer to my due date it was Mike, not me, that made sure we had all the baby "stuff" and that it was all set up properly. Had he left it up to me, everything would probably still be in boxes. STILL. I am also too cheap for my own good. Many things that we got - such as a sleeping wedge for Rachel - I probably would have held off on just because I like to save and hoard up all my money and gift cards. My mother laughingly says that I still have all my crayons from first grade. Mike pointed out that if we don't use them, gift cards expire in 2 years, or sometimes less, and just went ahead and put things in the cart. I have to admit, they have been good buys.

Mike is a great cook. He cooked anything I asked for during my pregnancy. He also cooked some chili, split pea soup and spaghetti ahead of time and stored them in the freezer so that we'd have ready-made meals for once the baby was born and we were exhausted. Even though we didn't cook for two weeks after Rachel was born (thanks to my grandmother and the ladies from church) getting back with the program afterward was rough. Having frozen meals was great! After that, while I was still getting used to routines and all, he would go to work, come home, cook, do his homework, play with the baby, and not complain about it at all. Now I'm trying to do most of the cooking so he can concentrate on homework and the baby when he gets home.

Speaking of post-partum, Mike is taking to fatherhood well. He talks to Rachel, doesn't fuss about changing diapers if I ask for it, takes pictures, holds her, and even gives her a bottle if I need a break. Rachel loves listening to his voice, and gets all excited when he gets home from work. As I've been typing this, she's been talking to him and vice versa the whole time. Oh, and did I mention that his good genes made for a beautiful little daughter?

So for all these reasons and more, I would like to nominate my husband for the Best Husband 2009 (or 2010) Awards.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

All dressed up with nowhere to go

Last night official began my endeavor to change Rachel's sleep habits and patterns to something a slight bit more "reasonable." And by "reasonable" I mean preferably not having waking hours from noon to midnight. Even just a 2 hour shift so we are awake from 10am - 10pm would suffice. I'd love to be able to go to bed at the same time as my husband.

Thank goodness for the internet. All these things that could have been quite a mystery for me, as a new parent, have been blogged about ad nauseum, and articles on childcare / child development abound. Before attempting any changes, I'd read up on the do's and don'ts of sleeping habits and ways to successfully attempt changes to already established routines. Fortunately, per these websites, routines are not so hard to change this early in life. I probably should have attempted this earlier, but I had no motivation. Do I have motivation now? It's hard to say, I guess we will find out.

All the articles I read said you need to establish a routine to create habits in your baby. Sounds practical. That's about what they say for adults too. Our routine is going to consist of the following:
  • 9.30pm either start a bath or wash face/head and hands.
  • Change diaper (if it's still clean I'm debating the changing or not)
  • Change into jammies
  • Take vitamins
  • Read a book
  • Nurse up for bed!
  • 10pm put her in the crib
As of right now she is not happy with being put down much at night unless you are there talking to her or entertaining her. So putting down in the crib is a HUGE deal. Last night she screamed (SCREAMED not cried) for 6 minutes straight. I had decided not to go in as soon as she started crying, so I waited that long before going in to pick her up and comfort her. As soon as I picked her up she quieted down, however start putting her horizontal again and she would remember how sad she had been.

So I lay down in bed (I was tired too!) and nursed her into submission. I mean sleep. The nice thing about nursing while lying down is I can fall asleep too. Next thing I know I'm waking up and it's 1am and she is sleeping all cozy next to me. Well I moved her into the crib and she didn't wake up until 5:30am. Once she is out, the crib is not an issue. Go figure.

Instead of going back to bed after nursing her this morning I decided to see how long it would take me to get ready in the mornings with her added to my routine. So once she nursed I put her back in the crib. She was not completely asleep but for some reason unbeknown to me it's not a bad thing to be in the crib in the morning while still not completely asleep. Well no one said babies were logical. So she lay there and gurgled for a while (not waking Mike up, fortunately) and I started my getting ready routine. Not bad. If I wake up at 5:30 I have time to nurse her, get ready, get her ready, nurse her again, and head out by 7.45am. Faster if I were in a hurry.

This morning since I had no where to go I made breakfast for Mike. Usually at 7.15am I am in bed still sleeping after having only gone to bed at midnight and been up at least once to nurse Rachel. This feels very accomplished. I feel like a real human being today. Like it has to be a good day because I am already showered and had coffee before 10am. I realize over and over in life how much difference a shower makes to one's perception of the day. Now I'm realizing how much a good breakfast and good night's sleep makes. Ah! Showered, dressed, made-up, full tummy, and getting to see my honey off to work. Life is good!

And now here I am... all dressed up and nowhere to go.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A Parent's Lament

It is a constantly heard lament by parents no matter what their age, race, income or status. It's one of those things that single people think they understand, but only partially "get," Confide it to another parent and there will be an immediate connection. In fact, I imagine Eve complained to Adam more than once: "They grow up so fast!"

Oh, I thought I understood before. As a single person I babysat over and over for many different children. Watching the children I sat for when they were 2 years old (or even 10 years old) begin high school, graduate high school, move on to college, join the service, and more has had a profound impact on me. Not just that I actually deserve all the years I claim, but that these "children" are individuals of their own and grown now. Amazing! I thought I "got" it. Obviously I did not, because with Rachel I am struck daily with how big she is getting.

Rachel is now too big for some of the Newborn size clothing, which goes up to 9lbs. She is now somewhere in the 10lb range, though I'm not sure exactly how many ounces she has on her right now. The newborn size diapers are not sufficient anymore (so it's lucky we only have another 4 of them left). As soon as this pack is finished we will be moving on to size 1 diapers. I just had to let out the straps in her carseat because it was too tight. And I just took a picture of her with Mike and realized how much larger she looks laying on him than when she had just arrived home.

She is growing in leaps and bounds, and not just size-wise. She focuses in on things - faces, colors, noises, movements. She follows movements with her eyes or sometimes her whole head. Her little fists open and close onto things with super grip - including the thumbs now. She has a routine that she follows, drifting in and out of sleep until around noon, after which she lays on her floor pad and kicks till her little heart's content, after which we play with daddy when he comes home, and then she stays up with mommy until midnight or so. She is constantly doing new things and amazing me with how early she starts doing things that I see on the parenting websites.

Don't get me wrong...I am so excited to see her growing up and learning new things. I want to treasure each stage, but they go so quickly that I'm afraid I'm going to miss something. I am staying home with Rachel for now, and I'm still afraid that if I turn away I will miss something extremely important. I take pictures almost every day and send them to Mike so he won't miss out, but if I could video the entire day (sans the sleeping) I might be tempted to.

Oh man... it's true... they grow up so fast!!

Moderately Confused

Friday, January 15, 2010

Family, family and more family!

Well the holiday season is mostly over (though I'm still re-living it in my memories) and this time it was full of family, family and more family! I didn't really get around to doing much decorations, and although I pulled out the Christmas cards and purchased stamps, I failed to finalize the crucial part: fill them out and mail them. So I'm sorry that you did not get your Christmas card from me, but I was (and am) wishing you all the best!

2009 was a year of "firsts." It was my first full year in North Carolina, which flew by! My first becoming a mommy, which has been a journey in and of itself. My first Christmas and New Year with a family of my own (married almost two years now!). And this holiday season was my first in a while that I can remember having all my family(s) together to celebrate.

As long as I can remember, "home" is wherever my family lives. Cleveland, Port Huron, DeBary, Cochabamba, Santa Cruz, Arequipa, Birmingham, it didn't matter - if my family was there, then going "home" meant wherever they were residing. When I moved away for college and my family moved to Birmingham, "home" became a little rental home in Irondale, though I only was able to visit on holidays. Sometimes I detested moving around so much, because since I am incredibly bad at correspondence (those of you who know me can confirm) I would inevitably lose track of my friends. At other times I appreciate it because I realize it made me so much closer to my family. Oh sure, we would fight, but I could not wait to get back to them on school breaks.

When I moved to California, I would still travel "home" to Alabama to see my family when I could. Then I got married, and all of a sudden there was a whole new family to visit. Complicate that by the fact that my parents moved to Florida away from my sisters and all of a sudden "family" visits were not so easy to plan any longer. With only two weeks of vacation it is hard to visit three different places! Especially when the cost of gasoline (and thus the cost of airplane tickets) skyrocketed. So we moved to North Carolina.

My new family-in-law lives 4 hours away and it has been nice getting to visit and know them. They have moved around quite a bit also, and I think that helps me related to them. I sometimes have difficulty relating to people who have lived their whole lives in one city or house. Which is not to say that there is anything wrong with that, but it does create a different mentality - one where people are attached to places. Anyhow, we went down to see them the weekend of New Year's, and they were gracious enough to let my entire family - parents, two sisters, niece & nephew - come along also without a moment's hesitation or any indication that it was an imposition at all. I have the best in-laws ever!!

I did take quite a few pictures during the visits (when one has a spiffy new phone, a spiffy new camera, and tons of family one HAS to take pictures!!) but now they do not seem sufficient. It's funny, but I never used to be a photo taker, and this baby has turned me into a fiend with the phone/camera. Yes... a fiend! Or maybe it's having the family around.

Regardless, the summation of this entire post is just to say that I love my entire family - my own, my immediate, and my in-laws. I look forward to many more holiday seasons of togetherness!!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

One handed feats

There are so many things that I have learned since becoming a mom. One of them is that when forced to it, a person can become at least somewhat ambidextrous, even at the advanced (okay... or not-so-advanced) age of 28. Amazing! This skill comes from having to compensate for holding a baby and the need to get things done stil. Which means one handed feats.

While some things come easily one handed, there are others that do not. Also, while some things come easily one handed with your dominant hand, they are decidedly NOT as easy with the other, though sometimes practice makes said tasks easier. And then again, there are certain tasks that I don't think will EVER come easily with one hand or might not even be possible.

For your edification (yes, you see how benevolent I am?) I have decided to list some of these tasks for you.

Easy one handed tasks:
- Burping a baby
- Fixing and drinking coffee (!!)
- Typing short bursts (hello Facebook!)
- Adoring your baby!!
- Petting and feeding the kitties
- Eating pre-sliced foods
- Putting in and watching a movie
- Dancing around with baby. Salsa, baby!
- Opening up a chocolate bar
- Following other people's well maintained blogs

Medium difficulty or difficult with non-dominant hand:
- Fixing sandwiches
- Cooking a decent meal (chopping veggies? yeah right!)
- Undoing difficult snaps.
- Blogging (doable but takes MUCH longer)
- Eating steak which has NOT been pre-sliced. Or rice with no sauce to hold it together.

Almost impossible / to be avoided:
- Going to the bathroom. (Sorry even if you are screaming I'm not taking you in. To be avoided!)
- Laundry... I still need those front loaders, but folding?
- Taking down a Christmas tree
- Taking out trash

Well... enough of this, I'm going to play with my baby. This is definitely a non-inclusive list and might be added to later if I can tear myself away from Rachel, or if you want to contribute. :)