I really thought that post-baby I would be doing more blogging. Everyone told me that the first couple of weeks are rough, but - as with many other things about having a child - I gave them no credence. Silly me, eh?
Slowly but surely, the importance of naps became more and more obvious to me. Fortunately the aptitude for taking them mid-day has also become easier. Initially, though exhausted, I would nod off when the baby was feeding half the time, but in between I would try to stay up and talk, visit, or clean. Looking back, it probably came from the urge not to have my entire waking day taken up by having a baby latched on and feeding.
Recently, however, it has become easier to get by on two short naps or one long nap during the day and however long she lets me sleep at night. Fortunately, once sleeping, Rachel is a long sleeper. Not necessarily a deep sleeper, she can be woken up by herself or by one of us, but given the right situations, she does tend to sleep for 3 - 4 hours at a time during the night and around 2 hours during the day time. This is good for me!
Actually, I think my lack of blogging has more to do with two things: my pre-existing laziness in regards to posting, and my constant desire to hold Rachel. Why SHOULD it be necessary to put her down? I know I can put her into a carry pack and have my hands free... but it feels so much better to hold her with my own arms. This, of course, is detrimental to my typing skills. In fact, it is detrimental to my cleaning skills also, so you can imagine the state of the apartment right now!
*Sigh....
As the time I have off from work slowly but surely dwindles away, I am more and more loath to return. How much of that is because I want to spend it with her, and how much of it is just not having to deal with stress? I'm not quite sure, but she is definitely a stress reliever. Cuddling with a sleeping or almost sleeping baby is one of the best things ever. Right now my idea of a perfect moment is this: Sitting on the couches holding the baby (or watching Mike hold her), sitting in front of a merrily burning fire with the cats around us, talking about the day and drinking some hot apple cider or hot chocolate. I might even go for some Christmas music.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Rachel Isabel Auffhammer
The big day - Monday, November 30th, 2009 - came both earlier and later than expected. Somehow the day just snuck up on two very nervous soon-to-be parents of a very new born baby. Though the last couple of weeks seemed to take forever to pass, and sleep was scarce the night of the 29th, 5:30am arrived in a rush on that particular day. Amazing how subjective our perception of time can be.
The night previous, neither Mike nor I had slept well. Funny how when we were waiting on my "due date" a week earlier I was not nervous, just ready; but the night before being induced with it being a sure thing I was a bag full of nerves. For Mike it didn't help that I was snoring - a habit apparently picked up during pregnancy and hopefully to un-learn afterward. By the time 5:30 rolled around and the alarm clock was scheduled to wake us up we were both long out of bed.
During the extra week of waiting I read many stories about babies, prepping for babies, etc. One of the articles spoke of things you might want to do when you are in labor that you will probably not get a chance to do later, such as shave your legs. Since labor was induced, this was easier for me than for some other mothers (at least so I imagine). I hopped into the shower, shaved my legs, brushed my teeth, and still did not feel ready. Does one ever?
Over the course of the pregnancy Mike has complained that he has felt rather "gypped" because I have not had all the extensive symptoms that he prepared for. No midnight runs to the grocery store for inexplicably disgusting items, no uncontrollable mood swings, or any other uncontrollable pregnancy symptoms. Now he was being cheated out of a wild dash to the hospital in the middle of the night with me screaming in the passenger seat "go faster, go faster, this baby is coming NOW!". No, instead it was a controlled, rather quiet drive to the hospital. This is probably for the best, as his car does not have grab handles for me to hang on to. I could not help but contemplate on the drive that when we went home there would be a tiny baby with us. Wow. Just wow.
We arrived early to Wake Med hospital in Cary, checked in quickly thanks to pre-registration, and were lead to the labor and delivery room that would be "ours" for the next couple of hours. Oh Lord... by the time I leave this room there will be THREE of us... help! The nurse who attended us, Sherry, was a blessing. Having never been through this I had so many questions about everything going on around me which she not only put up with, but answered cheerfully. Not to mention my needle phobia. If I had known how many needles were involved in a pregnancy....
As Sherry started the Pitocin drip to induce labor she also showed me how to read the monitors and see when I was having a contraction. At first I had to see it on the monitor to confirm if I'd just had one or not, but after a bit they became noticeable enough to register without that aid. To begin with it was just tightening, but I'd been feeling that on and off for a bit now without realizing it was a contraction. After that it was stronger tightening, then it became tightening with some pinching, then more pinching, then discomfort. At that point Mike suggested I ask for the pre-epidural meds, which take an hour to kick in. Thankfully I listened, because they quickly went from slight discomfort to not pleasant at all. Granted, I could still talk through the contractions, and they were not lasting a minute in length. Shortly thereafter they went to painful, and that was when the anesthesiologist arrived.
Suffice to say that the first epidural did not take. For whatever reason I happened to be in that 20% that needs the epidural removed and re-positioned. Lovely, eh? I felt for Mike, who was watching me in all this pain (by this time I wanted to cry during contractions) and could not do anything about it. Now I know why they used to kick the men out of the room - there is really nothing they can do except fret. Once the second epidural was in place it kicked in rapidly, to the relief of all involved, and I went from feeling to the blissful state of NOT feeling. God bless the inventor / discoverer of epidurals!!
By this time it was around 6pm, and we had been at the hospital for near 11 hours. I was so tired that since I could no longer feel anything, I drifted in and out of sleep. Before I slept, however, Bert (the nurse on the night shift) had switched me to laying on my side. Around 9pm she came to switch me to my other side and I told her I was feeling a lot of pressure. Since none of us were expecting this to happen anytime soon (not even the doctor), we were incredibly surprised to find out that I was completely dilated and the baby's head was RIGHT THERE. I had been dilating so slowly, even with the Pitosin drip and having my water broken, that we expected sometime in the early morning. Instead, Bert left a little after 9:15pm to call the doctor. At this point I frantically started calling Mike, who had left the room to get some food and walk around a bit. Reception was bad and I kept getting voicemail, so I sent a text message that wasn't even spelled right that said "come nack".
Dr Maydew arrived shortly thereafter, thanked me for not being a 4am delivery, got some paperwork done, and said "Okay let's push!" Mike got to help hold my legs and watch as Rachel was born. I am not sure I envy him that. Dr Maydew wears glasses, so I did get to somewhat see what was going on as I pushed, and that "somewhat" was definitely enough for me! Holy cow... is that REALLY me? Is that really coming OUT of me?? Wow!
Pushing is hard when you cannot feel your muscles. I could tell when I was doing it right because the nurse would say "yes, like that, keep going". A couple of pushes later out pops a little head, and with one more push the rest of Rachel came out. One of the top 10 strangest feelings I've ever had. From there everything started happening in high speed. They pulled her out, put her on my tummy, cleaned her up quickly, Mike cut the cord and the nurses began to clean, measure, weigh and wrap her up.
Then one of the nurses handed her to us and it was a feeling like nothing else in this world. Everyone else faded into the background and it was just Mike, our baby, and me. I'm in love!! She is so beautiful and so perfect, and I can see in his eyes how much he loves us both. I hope he can see the same in mine. What a wonderful day - November 30th, 2009. I went in expecting a baby and came out with a family. Life will never be the same again, and I am so glad.
The night previous, neither Mike nor I had slept well. Funny how when we were waiting on my "due date" a week earlier I was not nervous, just ready; but the night before being induced with it being a sure thing I was a bag full of nerves. For Mike it didn't help that I was snoring - a habit apparently picked up during pregnancy and hopefully to un-learn afterward. By the time 5:30 rolled around and the alarm clock was scheduled to wake us up we were both long out of bed.
During the extra week of waiting I read many stories about babies, prepping for babies, etc. One of the articles spoke of things you might want to do when you are in labor that you will probably not get a chance to do later, such as shave your legs. Since labor was induced, this was easier for me than for some other mothers (at least so I imagine). I hopped into the shower, shaved my legs, brushed my teeth, and still did not feel ready. Does one ever?
Over the course of the pregnancy Mike has complained that he has felt rather "gypped" because I have not had all the extensive symptoms that he prepared for. No midnight runs to the grocery store for inexplicably disgusting items, no uncontrollable mood swings, or any other uncontrollable pregnancy symptoms. Now he was being cheated out of a wild dash to the hospital in the middle of the night with me screaming in the passenger seat "go faster, go faster, this baby is coming NOW!". No, instead it was a controlled, rather quiet drive to the hospital. This is probably for the best, as his car does not have grab handles for me to hang on to. I could not help but contemplate on the drive that when we went home there would be a tiny baby with us. Wow. Just wow.
We arrived early to Wake Med hospital in Cary, checked in quickly thanks to pre-registration, and were lead to the labor and delivery room that would be "ours" for the next couple of hours. Oh Lord... by the time I leave this room there will be THREE of us... help! The nurse who attended us, Sherry, was a blessing. Having never been through this I had so many questions about everything going on around me which she not only put up with, but answered cheerfully. Not to mention my needle phobia. If I had known how many needles were involved in a pregnancy....
As Sherry started the Pitocin drip to induce labor she also showed me how to read the monitors and see when I was having a contraction. At first I had to see it on the monitor to confirm if I'd just had one or not, but after a bit they became noticeable enough to register without that aid. To begin with it was just tightening, but I'd been feeling that on and off for a bit now without realizing it was a contraction. After that it was stronger tightening, then it became tightening with some pinching, then more pinching, then discomfort. At that point Mike suggested I ask for the pre-epidural meds, which take an hour to kick in. Thankfully I listened, because they quickly went from slight discomfort to not pleasant at all. Granted, I could still talk through the contractions, and they were not lasting a minute in length. Shortly thereafter they went to painful, and that was when the anesthesiologist arrived.
Suffice to say that the first epidural did not take. For whatever reason I happened to be in that 20% that needs the epidural removed and re-positioned. Lovely, eh? I felt for Mike, who was watching me in all this pain (by this time I wanted to cry during contractions) and could not do anything about it. Now I know why they used to kick the men out of the room - there is really nothing they can do except fret. Once the second epidural was in place it kicked in rapidly, to the relief of all involved, and I went from feeling to the blissful state of NOT feeling. God bless the inventor / discoverer of epidurals!!
By this time it was around 6pm, and we had been at the hospital for near 11 hours. I was so tired that since I could no longer feel anything, I drifted in and out of sleep. Before I slept, however, Bert (the nurse on the night shift) had switched me to laying on my side. Around 9pm she came to switch me to my other side and I told her I was feeling a lot of pressure. Since none of us were expecting this to happen anytime soon (not even the doctor), we were incredibly surprised to find out that I was completely dilated and the baby's head was RIGHT THERE. I had been dilating so slowly, even with the Pitosin drip and having my water broken, that we expected sometime in the early morning. Instead, Bert left a little after 9:15pm to call the doctor. At this point I frantically started calling Mike, who had left the room to get some food and walk around a bit. Reception was bad and I kept getting voicemail, so I sent a text message that wasn't even spelled right that said "come nack".
Dr Maydew arrived shortly thereafter, thanked me for not being a 4am delivery, got some paperwork done, and said "Okay let's push!" Mike got to help hold my legs and watch as Rachel was born. I am not sure I envy him that. Dr Maydew wears glasses, so I did get to somewhat see what was going on as I pushed, and that "somewhat" was definitely enough for me! Holy cow... is that REALLY me? Is that really coming OUT of me?? Wow!
Pushing is hard when you cannot feel your muscles. I could tell when I was doing it right because the nurse would say "yes, like that, keep going". A couple of pushes later out pops a little head, and with one more push the rest of Rachel came out. One of the top 10 strangest feelings I've ever had. From there everything started happening in high speed. They pulled her out, put her on my tummy, cleaned her up quickly, Mike cut the cord and the nurses began to clean, measure, weigh and wrap her up.
Then one of the nurses handed her to us and it was a feeling like nothing else in this world. Everyone else faded into the background and it was just Mike, our baby, and me. I'm in love!! She is so beautiful and so perfect, and I can see in his eyes how much he loves us both. I hope he can see the same in mine. What a wonderful day - November 30th, 2009. I went in expecting a baby and came out with a family. Life will never be the same again, and I am so glad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
